Orcs!
The Never Ending Quest - Episode 42600
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The orcs were coming up from some mountian pass as Fred and his troupe
were heading downwards. The orcs were horrible to behold - fat, ugly,
bald, in-grown toenails, and split ends (nose hair). The women (not
really fighters) screamed and began running. This only excited the orcs.
Only four figures stood their ground: Lord Fredrigo (with sword), Princess
Astra (with dagger), Lady Diana Thessamer (with crossbow), and the Lady
Annie Oakley (crossbow). Though Princess Imelda and the Countess Maria
had swords they were far too frightened to use them and ran about blindly
waiving them like sticks.
The orcs charged and began grabbing, pulling, and licking (they were disgusting little vermin). Almost instantaneously Fred and the three women began their attack. By the time two orcs lay dead the rest of them realized there was something worth attacking here... and the fight was on! In the midst of this fight no one noticed that a ball of light materialzed some distance off and that a bowman wearing a cloak stepped out of that light. With much hacking, slashing, huffing & puffing, kicking, screaming, yelling, spitting, pouncing, heaving, crashing and wincing the battle came to an end. Fred stood, bloodied but very much alive. Velus lay dead with an arm missing. Princess Exotica had a nasty cut to her leg but was able to stand. The Lady Diana Thessamer was panting and bleeding but joyous at her victory. The corpse of the Lady Annie Oakley was barely recognizable. Princess Imelda was sputtering gibberish as she lay curled up on the steppe, some blood on her side. The Countess Maria was decapitated, as was the Princess Helena. Princess Helena's twin sister Sophia was kneeling by her sister's body, crying vigorously. The Lady Sara Ushiko of MalBoncton was bleeding but alive. The Duchess Elena was not so alive. And neither was the Princess Astra, an arrow poked from out her neck. Lord Fred surveyed the carnage. "Dammit all to hades and back again!" he growled. "We don't have time to bury the dead, more Dragon-scum are sure to come." "We can't just leave my sister!" wailed Princess Sophie. "Our sister's deserve respect," opined Diana Thessamer. "Yet I, too, fear the coming of more adversaries." After much talk and emotional outpourings the group decides to move the the dead a short distance and cover them with a layer of rocks as quickly as possible. As they complete this grissly task, the Lady Diana asked Lord Fred: "Did you see a bowman?" "What?" said Fred. "An orcish bowman, did you see one?" Fred pondered this a moment. "No, they all carried scimitar and battleknife. Few orcs indeed carry the bow, it is too fine an instrument." "Yet my cousin was killed by arrow." Fred quickly came to the same conclusion as the amazon: "Another entered the fray - and perhaps is still spying us!"
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12/3/2006 5:54:20 PM
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