The Quest Ends Before it Even Begins
The Never Ending Quest - Episode 42159
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“You would-be dragonslayers are all the same,” he sighed. “It’s
always, ‘could you conjure me up a cheese sandwich?’ or ‘could you summon
Ranma Saotome to do the fighting for me?’ with the collective lot of you.
I am veritable encyclopedia of universal knowledge, and yet my wisdom
goes untapped by every soul that comes my way.” Fred hesitated. A cheese sandwich did sound awfully nice now that the man mentioned it. “Yes well, um, could you just answer the question please?” “Maybe I can and maybe I can’t. Maybe I could create a spell for the Dragon that could kill you from here, did you ever think of that? Maybe I could create a spell to end world hunger and dispel all the sickness and evil that plagues mankind. Why don’t you ask me for that spell, huh?” “I uh...”“HUH!? That’s what I thought. Because you’re too short sighted and self-centered to care! I could open endless doors of enlightenment for you, and you all you want to know is if I can help your lazy ass kill a stupid reptile so you don’t have to get your pedicured hands dirty!” “Now wait just a minute there, old timer!” Fred defended. “My quest is a selfless act of heroism. That reptile has been tormenting the kingdom, kidnaping our maidens, and been an all around mean person for time out of mind!”Belboz cackled wildly. “A ‘selfless act of heroism’, huh!? More likely than not, you’re just another common criminal bribed into this foolishness in lieu of life in the dungeons!” The necromancer had him there. Fred had been charged with tax evasion. He hadn’t reported the loose change he’d found underneath his couch on his tax return and had been threatened with imprisonment. The King had offered him the dragon slaying quest as a means to earn his redemption. But this Belboz was starting to annoy him. “Criminal, yes, common, no. Still,” he went on, “my quest is a worthy one. But you have yet to answer my question. Again I ask most humbly, could you create a spell to kill the dragon from here?”“Yes, I’d be more than happy to.” “Wonderful!”Flipping through his tome, Belboz came to the page he was looking for. He muttered a few incantations and declared the spell a success. That was easy! Fred, though overjoyed at the apparent ease of what he’d feared would be a hopeless task, was still a little confused. “So, uh, Belboz...”“Mm hmm?” “You’ve been very helpful, don’t get me wrong, but why did you hassle me when I first asked for your help?”Belboz shrugged. “I’m old and grumpy?” “Oh. Well thanks again. Bye.” “No problem, dude.”As Fred retreated from the musty confines of the caves he wondered if he should really report back to the King so soon. He’d been given a good amount of time to complete his task and now that it was done he couldn’t help but be tempted by the notion of taking a little personal vacation. “Ya, a little ‘me’ time,” he convinced himself. But where to go?
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Lost Soldier
5/19/2004 6:44:19 PM
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