Fred's Turn to Ponder

The Never Ending Quest - Episode 4138

In his comfortable bed, Rift slept on. His hold over Astra was even more secure than he thought, for he had not known that she was a votaress of Artemis. For a member of the royal household of Aqualaria to conceive out of wedlock would mean disgrace if discovered, but for a woman who had vowed herself to Artemis to have sexual relations was far worse.

Meanwhile Fred lay awake worrying about Astra. He hoped she was not going to break down. He knew she was very tough, but even the toughest have their limits. Before long, Tarin's snores indicated that he was asleep, and after a while Astra's slow steady breathing showed that even she had been able to sleep. If Tarin had been able to answer Fred's question about what Rift intended to do with Astra, he had not chosen to do so, though Fred thought he had heard him chuckle when he asked.

Fred now understood why Astra was willing to do Rift's bidding. And he also realised the significance of what Rift had said about Astra's own parents no longer being able to recognise her. Her reliance on the Crystallic if she wanted her appearance restored would serve to strengthen Rift's hold over her.

He thought about the dream that Astra had had. Was it telling her to give up her birthright and who she had been, so that she could be free of Rift? From what she had said subsequently, he doubted that she could bring herself to do that, to betray - as she would see it - both Artemis and her family. And perhaps she would fear divine retribution if she took that course.

Fred had always assumed that Astra, as a warrior and adventuress in her mid-twenties, would have had considerable sexual experience. And her nudity when they had first met had not seemed to worry her in the slightest. Thus it had come as an unwelcome surprise to discover now that she had been a virgin when he took her [#1563]. That made him feel even more guilty than he already had done about what had happened. But she had seemed so adept! That must have been part of Minestus's enchantment, he supposed, rather than the result of any prior experience on her part. As some compensation for his increased feeling of guilt, at least the mistrust between them now was, he assumed, dispelled.

He realised that, remarkably, Astra had never once directed a word of blame or recrimination at him for what had happened between them, in spite of the terrible consequences it had had for her. That spoke of a great nobility of spirit.

  1. His already high regard for her increased further.
  2. He realised that he loved her, though he knew that it was hopeless.

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JH

9/7/1999 1:19:47 PM

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