Party's Over
The Never Ending Quest - Episode 41024
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12 hours later... You wake up, bruised up and battered, in a pool of what you can only hope is your own vomit. Oddly, there’s a portable CD player playing some Pink Floyd next to you. Looking around, you notice the now-dead Dragon sprawled beside you. Astra is still chained to the wall, fast asleep and snoring in a very un-lady like fashion. It reminds you somehow of High School. You could really use a cigarette (and a bottle of vodka) at this point.Fred appears, seemingly out of nowhere, clutching a (severed) nipple. “I never get invited to any of the good parties,” he despairs. “At least I had Charles to keep me company.” You arch an eyebrow. “Charles?”“Where are my manners!” He extends his hand (the one holding the nipple). “Charles, meet you. You, meet Charles.” “Nice to meet you, Charles,” you find yourself saying. Somehow, given all you’ve been through, you don’t find anything odd about all of this. Just another day in paradise... “Well,” Fred continues, “I see you murdered the Dragon.” He shrugs. “He’s gone to a better place, I suppose.”Still in a daze, you try and piece together the events of the last few days as best you can. “What...what now?” you mumble. “Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m going to loot this chamber, and then I’m going back to the King to claim my reward and well- earned fame...”Wait a minute! “You didn’t slay the stupid Dragon! I did! In fact, you befriended it!” Fred sticks out his tongue. “So says you.”This guy has some nerve! “Look, let’s make a compromise. We both go back to your kingdom and split the loot, 50/50. And I’ll make no mention of you turning traitor.” “Hmmm,” Fred says thoughtfully. “How about we don’t do that.” You hear a cough. It’s Astra. Somehow you’d forgotten about her boobs...er, I mean her. “What about me!?” she pleads. “Well we all know what happened last time I unchained you,” Fred retorts with a vengeful glare cast in her direction. “How about you just stay chained up there and think about what you did to me. For eternity, for all I care.”Ah, screw Astra anyway. You’ve got your own butt to look after. Typical you. “C’mon, Fred, let’s make a deal,” you implore of him. “You’re a reasonable man.” “No I'm not,” says Fred, “I’m stark raving mad.”“Okay, okay, okay,” you concede. “You’re #&*#ing crazier than @#%$. Let’s still make deal.”
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Lost Soldier
4/6/2004 4:38:07 PM
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