We Never Do Find Out

The Never Ending Quest - Episode 40721

Josh suffers from one of his many, many blackouts. When he awakens, he is stumbling from the magic door in the middle of Times Square. Everyone knew of the door. You entered it, things happened to you and you came out a better person. That is, if you remembered what happened.
And you can only enter it twice. And this was Josh's second time. Everyone else was talking about what they had done, what they had seen, what interdimension five-boobed princess they had bedded during an exciting interplanetary adventure.
Josh regretted his many years of eating pills he found off the floor and shoving crayons into his ears because it felt good.
Who knew so many, many pills could be found on the floor? By just looking?
Josh munches some white ones he found the other week in a Broadway bookshop.
Anywho, he flashes back to the first time he went through the magic door in the middle of Times Square. He had...

  1. saved an undersear colony from an enraged stalker-mob.
  2. spent a week as a werewolf in an alien world.
  3. helped Gene Roddenberry invent Star Trek. (Gene had turned down Josh's 'All Nude Engineering' idea).
  4. ensured the sun would burn for another billion years.
  5. destroyed the very concept of mass-eating contests.
  6. punched an old lady in the eye.
  7. gave Chris Claremont his bondage fetish (by hypnosis, not -that- way, ew).
  8. saved New York for an evil, sentient New York.
  9. served as the Pope for two weeks in 1003. He had tried to declare pooping sinful and was excommunicated.
  10. journeyed through Scott Chen's dreaming mind to destroy the abominations that sick bastard dreamed up from watching too much 'Full House' and 'Oprah'.

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Lots42

3/23/2007 5:20:52 AM

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