'Breeding Princesses For Fun And Profit'

He started unrolling the scroll, and the first thing he saw was a big picture of a naked man and a naked woman. They looked pretty much like any naked people Fred had seen, but according to the caption this was a king and a queen, and you would need one of each to make a princess. Not only that, but each of them also needed to have certain parts, and this was even more confusing. Even without looking, Fred was pretty certain that he had the parts the king needed, so what would he need a king for anyway?

It should be noted that even though Sir Fred was a knight of some renown, his education in some fields was somewhat lacking. When he was five, his mother had answered the usual question by informing her son that the stork had brought him. She didn't say anything about where the stork got him from, and had probably been planning to tell him the truth when he got older. Unfortunately she and her husband broke up a few months later, and both his father and his new stepmother assumed that he already knew "the mysteries of life", so when his father figured he was old enough for "the talk", he just warned him to stay away from "bad women" (whatever they were, all women Fred had met were nice to him), and to use some kind of protection when "you know what", whatever he had meant by that.

And so it was that Lord Federigo d'Honaire approached the subject of 'Breeding Princesses For Fun And Profit' with a totally innocent outlook, blissfully unaware that whatever the scroll had to say about royalty also applied to more common people. Well, apart from the profit bit anyway.

1. He started reading from the beginning, the way God and Gutenberg had intended scrolls to be read.
2. He started browsing for more pictures.
3. He tried to find the profit bit.
4. He got interrupted by...
5. He threw away the scroll and chose another.

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