Electric Uncle Sam

But, for some reason, Mrs. Smithson didn't lose it. Instead, she picked up the phone in the classroom and ordered out for pizza.

Upon hearing that, thirty pairs of eyebrows raised, and smiles started forming on faces as excitement built. Pizza! At 8:30 in the morning! The class finally let out a cheer when it was learned that everyone would get their own pizza, bread sticks, and as much soda pop as they could drink. Yay for caffeine!!

Forty five minutes, the pizzas and other goodies arrived, and everyone went to town, except for Mrs. Smithson, who was seen swallowing a couple of pills out of her desk drawer.

Things went fine for the next hour or so, until the caffeine kicked in, and some of the more hyperactive (these were the days before something called "ADHD" started getting diagnosed to every borderline retard who couldn't sit still for longer than ten seconds) kids started racing around the classroom, climbing onto furniture, and whatever else. The fat kid of the class, Tommy Robson, started stealing as many slices of other kids' pizza pies, having polished his off first. Whenever someone caught him, Tommy would whine and bitch that he was still hungry and that the other kids didn't deserve any more pizza.

Josh Burbank himself stayed out of trouble, limiting himself to two slices and one glass of Coke that he didn't finish, because one of the kids racing around the room, Brad Turner, knocked his glass off the desk. He did notice Mrs. Smithson looking more and more distressed as her class got even more out of control.

Finally, within the space of two minutes...

1. Brad crashed full speed into Jorie Galcik, sending her and her desk skidding across the room, sending pizza and Dr. Pepper everywhere.
2. Henry Boerner threw up all over himself.
3. Dave Mason threw up all over Natalie Childers.
4. Brian Powell decided that now was a good time to stand up on his desk and start shrieking obscenities, racial slurs, and crude sexual insults that he constantly overheard his older brother and his deliquent friends using while they smoked that funny smelling stuff after school every day.
5. Tommy threw a monster tantrum when Danielle Kane refused to reliquish her leftover pizza and Coke, and then threw a chair through the window.
6. Wally Martinson soiled himself quite spectacularly. Yes, number one and an especially foul number two, which triggered four other classmates to puke.

When all was said and done, Mrs. Smithson began screaming like mad. Then what did she do?

1. She ran out of the room.
2. She jumped out the hole in the window.
3. She ripped off her clothes.
4. She took a running slide through the mess all over the floor.
5. She exploded.
6. She pulled out a gun and started firing.

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