This ain't no beach party, man!

"You did not cast it crotterly!" said Josh a little mad. "Do it again."

Fred didn't want to do it again. Fred was tired. He took off his conical hat and sat down.

"Listen, you!" said Josh. "Do it crotterly this time or I will slay you."

Fred stared at the strange boy, he wore strange clothing (blue jeans), had a strange weapon (flashlight), and spoke strange words. "Listen, you," said Fred. "Like I said before, I was only pretending to be a necromancer. I thought I'd get a kick out of it, but I was wrong. And as for the spell-casting, what in Landou's gut does 'crotterly' mean?!?"

The boy looked at Fred a bit sheepishly. "It's a word my big brother made up. You see, he plays roleplaying games and he and his pals have a whole vocabulary of cool words and stuff!"

Fred looked at the boy quizzically. "And you think 'crotterly' sounds cool?"

"Um, yeah."

"Get a life."

After a bit of a rest, and some coaxing from Fred's part to convince Josh to give him a lowdown on the local society and then some coaxing on Josh's part to make Fred believe it, the two exited the caves. They emerged on the side of a hill overlooking the ocean.

"That is the Pacific Ocean," said Josh.

"Sure it is," said Fred. "And we just happen to be in a kingdom called America."

"Hey!" said Josh. "First, I already told you we have a president not a king and it sure makes a helluva lot more sense than being in a kingdom called Allaria surrounded by fire-breathing dragons!"

"We are not surrounded! And it makes perfect sense to me... at least it did until my future self came to me and everything since then has gone to pot!"

"Yeah, right."

Fred glared at the boy. The boy glared at Fred. Then the sound of a voice broke both their concentrations. It was coming from closer to the beach. The two walked toward the sound. Josh recognized it as a news broadcast - Fred was clueless. Soon they were looking at the beach, only a few scant people were present. The closest beach umbrella had a portable radio going full blast.

...in revolt. Arthur Trelaine, our news correspondent in Pakistan, has stated that all hell has broke loose. People screaming, buildings burning, tanks rolling in like there's no tomorrow. The Pakistani government is calling on the United Nations for assistance in her hour of need. Meanwhile the Indian government is continuing its assault claiming redress of past wrongs and present beligerance. India's President Singh, the so-called Ubermensch, has plainly stated that any interference by any government will bring about an escalation of bloodshed. Stay tuned, we will be back with more updates after a few words from our sponsor..."

"Crap!" said Josh. "I bet my dad is gonna kick some Indian ass!" He looked at Fred who had only a confused look on his face. "My dad's in the military. Based right here in San Diego, California. But he goes wherever our country needs him!" Josh said this with a particular touch of pride.

Fred looked at the boy. He looked at the talking box. He was really confused. "The talking box sounds afraid, it speaks of bloodshed. Is your country under attack?"

"No way, man!" said a new voice. It came from a sun-bleached surfer dude that was sitting on the beach chair that was also under the umbrella. "This is the 1990s, man, and the U.S. of A. is A-OK! Strong as an ox and ain't nobody gonna piss on us. It's those idiots on the other side of the ocean, man. Its all gonna come down to bullets and bombs and we better hope that those SOBs don't start up their nuclear factories, man. They can still buy enough nuclear crap to make them there "dirty" warheads, anyhoo. Man, they gonna go kaboom if you ask me!"

Fred's mind whirled. Not because the severity of the situation revealed itself in all its clear horror, but because the strange man with white hair spoke in letters and redundencies. Fred did not like this place, he did not like this 'future' if that indeed was what it was, he did not like the fact that this Josh was not the Sir Josh of northern Allaria whom he had thought he was going to join in quest. He tried to make sense of what he had learned so far, but it was difficult. Fred was a knight, not a teacher. But the talking box did speak of battle, and battle he understood. "Who is the enemy?" asked Fred of both Josh and the white- haired man.

Incredibly both spoke together: "Khan Noonien Singh."

1. What's this?!? the 1990s! Khan! Is this the quest that Fred must join? But how?!? Stay tuned...

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