Sorry, Rami: Roast Girl Stays on the Menu

The Never Ending Quest - Episode 37109

Sympathy flickered in the lizardman's eyes, but it was quickly supplanted by a reptilian gleam of hunger. Dewey lifted the goose-bumped girl from the cold-water basin as Huey and Lewey set upon her. Huey came equipped with large salt- and pepper-shakers, and he proceeded to give her a good dusting with each. Lewey, holding the bowl he had mixed, forced Rami's lower jaw down and dumped the bowl's contents down her throat. The girl resisted, but Lewey pulled her tongue out of her mouth to keep the cavity open.

Sputtering and coughing, Rami felt the dense mixture descend straight to her tummy. "Ewwwww, you filthy beasts," she moaned. These would be her last words. Huey smacked her in the back of the head with a club, and she slipped unconscious to the ground.

Dewey lifted her into a large juice-filled pan, carefully arranging her knees beneath her belly. He stuck a large potato in her mouth to keep it open.

"Five minutes per pound ..." Lewey did the calculations in his head as Huey and Dewey hoisted the pan into the oven, pre-heated at 375 degrees Fahrenheit. For the next several hours, Dewey carefully watched the roast, removing Rami from the oven now and then to baste her in bear fat to keep her moist.

When the roast was complete, Dewey pulled the pan out of the oven, replaced the potato with a shiny apple, adorned the girl with a necklace of parsley, and presented Rami to the other trolls.

"Dinner is served!"

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"Have another steak," Huey suggested to Lewey. He picked up the carving knife and serving fork. "Pass the plate. Gravy?"

"Oh, yes, please. Rami was a tough little girl, but she turned out to be very tender on the inside," said Dewey.

Huey nodded, mouth full. "That stuffing does wonders. Is there any belly meat left?"

Dewey shook his head with regret. "I'm afraid that was the end of Rami."

  1. From the skeleton on the table rises Rami's karmic residue.

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12/21/2003 11:15:35 AM

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