The Life & Times of a Cave Cat

The Never Ending Quest - Episode 36509

The dragon chanted "Frau zur Katze" and POOF Amy disappeared.

Her clothes laid in a pile at the foot of the dragon. They stirred slightly as a tiny kitten emerged from them.

Velma hissed at this new invader of her territory, and the new kitten bounded fearfully out of the cavern and into the dark cave.

"She'll be back," chuckled the dragon.


In the beginning, life was tough. Amy the Kitten carefully navigated the treacherous caves, avoiding larger predators (like that terrible velociraptor she'd encounter now and then) and feeding on the rotting remains of dead bears and adventurers.

On one occasion, months after her transformation, she even glimpsed a naked human who bore a striking resemblance to her sister. She dismissed the figure as a hallucination, brought on by a particurly potent stash of catnip she'd come across.

One day, Amy returned to the Dragon's Lair, having forgotten in the ensuing months what awaited her there. Velma hunched her back and began hissing, but the dragon picked Amy up and stroked her back.

"Welcome, my dear, to your new home. You need not fear me. Velma will get used to you in time."

She did. Amy began to spend all her time in the treasure hoard, frolicking with Velma amidst the glittering jewels. The dragon took good care of her, bringing her food from outside and regaling her with tales of plunder and pillage. Amy grew to hate the hairless apes who were conquering the world outside the entrance of the cave, and she gradually lost all memories of the form and functioning of the human lymphatic system.


Many happy years passed, and Amy grew old and arthritic. She could no longer support herself, so the dragon placed her in a small red wheelbarrow he had taken from a primate child. One cold morning, Velma, who was herself grown elderly, approached the wagon and found that Amy had stopped breathing.

  1. Liberated from this mortal coil, Amy's karmic residue takes a journey.

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12/4/2003 12:42:57 AM

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