Josh Burbank Gets All Turned Around In A Very Large Sam's Club
The Never Ending Quest - Episode 36117
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Josh finds a secret passageway. Sort of. It's basically the space between
the whitewall and the outside of the building. Josh slides through
sideways. After about two dozen splinter incidents, being bitten by ten
rats (thankfully, all non-rabid), accidentally eating a spider's egg-sac
and fainting ten times due to claustraphobia, Josh falls through a weak
spot in the wall and ends up inside Sam's Club. Thankfully, it was in the book section so nobody saw him. It was dark and badly lit in the U-shaped section. Stacks of books on low tables stared at him with promises of new diets, religious adventures, bad politics or suspense involving sexy lawyers and improbably sexier assistants. Josh sat there and pulled four splinters out of his shoulders and one out of the clasp in his nipple ring. He brushed spiders out of his hair and brought out his emergency pair of socks. It was two, mismatched, flourescent orange socks in a clean baggie. He changed his socks and left the slightly smelly old pair under a stack of 'Ten for a buck' John Grisham novels. Oddly enough, Josh's socks were the cleanest things on him, especially after the incident with the 'secret passageway'. Josh meandered out into the lingerie section, mainly to giggle and feel funny over the D-cups. But he was soon accosted by a rag-tag group of smelly, unwashed people with long hair. There were about fifteen of them, all ethnically diverse. Two of them had on tie-dye shirts. "AAAAH! HIPPIES!" Josh screamed, conditioned to hate them by ten years of living with a former flower child for a sister. "No, we ain't hippies!" cried a tall, blue-eyed man with neck scars. "Except for Jim there, we all hate him. Jim, a midget smelling of pot, ran off crying. "What do you want?" Josh cried. "Do you know how to get out?" said the man. "We've been stuck in Sam's Club for years, it's just TOO BIG."
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Lots42
3/15/2006 4:57:29 AM
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