An Episode Written by an Ornery Orange Orangutan Named Norman (but credited to Ib)

The Never Ending Quest - Episode 26771

The King stood before the people and spoke. After clearing his throat, that is. With an overpriced bottle of Fiji water he was nursing. He was King, after all.

"And so, I stand here before you, your deposed King or whatever I dunno, I think someone slipped something into my water," he said, standing there before them, their deposed King. "A man. A king, yes, but a man. A man who smells? Maybe. But we all smell. It's a smelly age, folks. A smelly age. An age full of smells. Cheesy smells. Vibrant. Vibrant smells. Italian. Feetsy. Feetsy, Italian, vibrant smells. I am a man who will live and die and be eaten up by worms like any other man. A man who takes just as smelly and squishy and noisy and messy and actually quite satisfying and stimulating a poo as any other smelly and squishy and noisy and messy and actually quite satisfying and stimulating a poo taking man/person (lgbtqtptqg tq whatever - I'm trying to be socially conscious. I'm like any other raving loony poopy ass crack commoner. A man who plays with his balls like any other creep from amongst the lot of you. Except I've got a crown and a sceptre and a slightly larger and more robust penis, thanks to a spell my court magician cast on my uncircumcised member. TMI? Sorry. I'm a player. I'm a hustler. Well...I'm not really a hustler. I'm a King, though. I'm a...pimp. I'm a gangster. I'm a...cool...guy. I smack. I smack them hos. In ALL those area codes. I may be deposed but I smack all dem hos yo yo yo. I rehearsed this shit and it sounded cooler."

He paused for effect.

Someone, some poor, obscene little diseased peasant in the crowd (probably Fred), coughed.

"What did you say?" queried the KIng, his suspicions aroused. "What did that bitch ass mutha fucka say?" he nudged his guards (he had three of them he kept with him at all times, even being deposed). "Bring them to me!!! This instant. Find out who it was! NOW!!!!!"

The guards knew better than to argue with the king when he got like....this. It wasn't so important that they got the RIGHT peasant, so long as they got A peasant. Any peasant would do. That one there, for instance. They looked suitable enough...

  1. The wench with all her teeth.
  2. The toothless wench.
  3. The wench with two teeth.
  4. The wench who went a little whimsical when she winced at the wind. What?
  5. No. Seriously? What?

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Ib (really Norman)

10/20/2018 10:30:42 PM

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