Unwelcome Guests

"Sure!" Velus said, and pulled another pokeball out of his underwear. Fred took it and tossed it against the floor. Out jumped Machamp. "Machamp!"

"Okay, Machamp, here's the deal." Fred said. "We need you to bend the bars of this cage so we can escape!"

"Ma!" said Machamp. "Champ!"

He strolled over to the bars, and kicked them so hard the entire row tore from the cavestone and crashed to the floor.

"Way to go, Machamp!" Velus cheered. He and Fred exited and looked around the torchlit corridor. "No sign of Pikachu."

"Who cares." Fred shrugged. "What a useless electric mouse."

Suddenly they heard a woman's voice say "Prepare for trouble!"

"And make it double." added a man's voice.

"What the?" Fred said.

"Ma?" Machamp blinked.

Two humans stepped from the shadows. They were dressed in leather armor with big red R's on their chests. Scimitars swung at their sides, identifying them as members of some kind of Thieves' Guild. The man had dark blue hair, and the woman had long, sweeping red hair that stretched behind her in a bouffant style.

"To protect the world from devastation!" the woman said.

"To unite all peoples within our nation." the man said.

"To denounce the evils of truth and love!" the woman said, striking a pose.

"To extend our reach to the stars above." the man said, sniffing a flower.

"Jesse!" the woman identified herself.

"James." the man followed suit.

"Team Rocket, blasts off at the speed of light!" Jesse said triumphantly.

"Surrender now or prepare to fight, fight, fight!" James added.

"Meowth! That's right!" said a Meowth, jumping from the shadows and standing with Jesse and James as all three struck a heroic pose. This was odd, as Pokemon never spoke anything beyond the syllables that composed their names.

"Who the hell are you people?" Velus demanded.

"Why, we're Team Rocket, little man!" Jesse grinned. "Didn't you hear our slogan? Are you as dumb as you are ugly?"

"What?!" Velus growled. "What the hell is a Rocket?"

"We are collectors of rare and valuable Pokemon!" James said. "And now, we're going to collect your Machamp!"

"What?!" Fred exclaimed.

"Exactly." Jesse said. "We saw the way it kicked down those cell bars, and..."

"...we decided a Pokemon that powerful just had to belong to us!" James finished.

"That's right, so hand it over!" Meowth said.

"You're dreaming!" Velus said. "Just get lost before someone gets hurt - namely, you!"

"I guess you leave us no choice, then. Go, Ekans!" Jesse shouted, tossing a pokeball, out of which popped the giant, poison-spitting snake Pokemon, Ekans.

"Get 'em, Weezing!" James yelled, likewise letting loose his ugly, floating, smog-emitting Weezing.

1. "You want Machamp?" Fred grinned. "You got it! Machamp, use Takedown!"
2. Fred decides to dispense with pokebattling, and slaughter Team Rocket in the direct way.
3. A certain peasant lad named Ash Ketchum runs in, looking for his Pikachu!
4. The Story Police, led by Officer Jenny, show up to arrest Team Rocket. They are backed up by deadly fire-type Pokemon.
5. Nintendo execs show up, demanding a stop to this unauthorized use of Nintendo intellectual property. They are backed up by deadly lawyer-type Pokemon.

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