Enter Fogeno

The Never Ending Quest - Episode 26093

Fred awoke from his drunken slumber with a start, an obnoxious bell's chiming announcing tea-time, of course. Tea sounded nice.

He stumbled out of his plush, perfume-scented bed and struggled to find his way to the doorway, his vision still blurred. Amoung other things, he also had to piss like a beserker trench-elf * , and it was all he could do to keep himself from wetting his panties** like a drunken gully dwarf*** at a kegger

With some luck, he managed to find the door, his eyes finally starting to clear up. He groggily moped his way forward into a carpeted hallway, still not sure where exactly he was going. Suddenly the smell of rancid fishwater smacked his senses like an angry house-wife**** and he looked up to see a swarthy looking salt in an ornate Hespanish Seacaptain's uniform. "Arrrr," said the salt. "Watch where yer a'goin'!"

Fred repressed his overwhelming desire to vomit his guts out after smelling the foul, fishy odour that seemed to hang around this man like elves on cheesecake*****. "I'm - need tea," he slurred, swaggering about like a blind beggar.

"Bunny!?" the swashbuckling Seacaptain gasped, his eyes probing the Allarian like he was some two-bit Siloon harlet in a thong. "It's me, Fogeno! I'd never thought I'd see ye again [22096]! Arrr, how did a lubber like yerself end up here!?"

Fred burped. "22096?"

"Why - you opened the doors of perception for me! You took me to planes of higher enlightenment and look where it has got me! Why, if it twerent fer yer arse I'd still be traversing the perilous seas instead of parallel realities!"

"Do what in a what what?"

"'...you and I are both fictional characters. None of this is real. You are a minor character in a ‘Never-Ending Quest’in which I am the hero.' That's what ye told me that fateful day in the market of Corona!"

"Uhhh, ohhh," Fred groaned, then babbled something about a purple haze all in his mind.

Fogeno's jaw dropped. "Whoa, dude!"

"Where?"

"I'm still totally peaking," the Seacaptain replied, his pupils dialating like a hippy in San Francisco in the summer of '68. "What yer said makes total sense, and it's really trippin me out! Wow, I'm so glad our paths have crossed agin!"

"Far out," was all Fred could think to say...



*A rare breed of elfkinde with small bladders.

**Fred is a freak.

***An even rarer breed of dwarfkinde, fond of soiling themselves after a good ale.

****An extinct species of womankinde who once cooked and cleaned for mankinde, before the natural order was disturbed and women were allowed to wear shoes and leave the home.

*****I dunno about this one. I heard somewhere that elves like cheesecake...but I really dont know.

  1. Meanwhile, Astra and Mr M....
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4/14/2003 8:33:45 PM

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