Reaibn's List

"Prisoners?! Reaibn, I do not think it wise to release murderers, theives, and thugs upon the peaceful people of my kingdom."

"Fred, I know that you are tender-hearted, and will make a virtuous king. Would it help if I brought you a list of prisoners and their crimes? Then you could make a decision as to which ones are deserving of release."

"Would that not take too much time?"

"Oh, no. The list is not very long. You can make a quick review, and the scribes should have time to write out the proclamation of those pardoned while we have a trot out in the courtyard. Varlet, fetch me the Roll of the Damned, and met us in the Throne Room."

Fred, Astra, and Reaibn rose from the table as servants cleared the plates and food. The throne room was now pristine. Fred and Astra sat on the plush thrones, and Reaibn knelt on the dias, quietly singing a tune that neither had heard before.

As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,
I've got a little list--I've got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground,
And who never would be missed--who never would be missed!
There's the pestilential nuisances who write for autographs--
All people who have flabby hands and irritating laughs--

The servant entered the room, and Reaibn stopped singing. In the servant's hand was a black bordered scroll with a band of red tape around it. Reaibn bade the servant to cut through the red tape and read the scroll.

"Know ye, by the authority invested in Emry of the Mighty House of Exultine, King and Master of Allaria by divine right, Emporer of the Havnheim, Aqualaria, Gana, Gela, and the diverse minor duchies and cities of the adjoining lands, Terror of the Shreken, and Dominus Magna of the islands and lands beyond the seas...."

Fred and Astra's jaws dropped. Reaibn held up his hand, bidding the servant to stop reading. He offered an explanation.

"Uh, yes. King Emry started to act, er, ah, erratic in his final days. I meant well, but, um, as I said earlier, he did not adjust. I have not let the marble out of my control since then. Please do not take offense, Princess. Those days are over, and our relations with Aqualaria are friendly, and may they remain so."

"Oh, yes. No offense taken," replied Astra. "I wonder if there is an Aqualarian merchant caravan or embassy somewhere in the vicinity. While I am glad to be fully clothed, warm, and well-fed, Allaria is stranger even than the traveller's tales. This Fred, who is the only one who seems to have a scrap of sanity, may get ideas above his station with the mantle of King, and I need to remind him of who I am and what my perogatives are. Although the old rules seem to be broken with impunity here."

"I would not to take measures that would create disorder in my realm," Fred deadpanned. "One of my first amendments would be to reissue the roll without all those claims." Fred thought to himself, "What a mess! There is some power unchained which has upset the established order of things. I cannot let it remain, but if I remove it, worse chaos may result, as Allaria would be defenseless. Where can I find allies? Reaibn? He seems well disposed, but he is crazy, and I think that he has played a big role in these changes. What is the 'marble' that he was talking about? Princess Astra is beautiful, haughty, fierce, and sane. Is there a way I can get her to help me out of this mess? The nobility here mix with the peasants and tradesmen. Are any of them trustworthy, or have a memory of the old order? I must bide my time, and hope that some solution presents itself, while trying to hold on to my sanity."

Reaibn gave a "thumbs up" gesture to tell the servant to proceed.

These are the men who have been damned, by His Majesty's authority, for crimes, felonies, and misdemeanors against His Majesty and the Kindom of Allaria. Let them be confined to the Great Dungeon for the duration of their natural lives, to serve as a warning for all folk tempted to wander down the road to destruction.

ITEM,

1. Jerome Lackland, serf, for a pathetic display of acting in an attempt to draw a foul in the village ragball game.
2. Paul the village idiot, for trading shares of the Royal North Umbria joint-stock corporation based on inside information, in violation of Regulation Q.
3. Bob the Barber, who has written short works with blatent continuity violations.

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