An article by Duke Zular - "My Odyssey against the Mage of the Northern Wastes."
The Never Ending Quest - Episode 22622
|
The following is an account of the travails and triumphs of Duke Zular Mollari of the duchy Trescent, entitled: "My Odyssey against the Mage of the Northern Wastes; How I Came Unto the Black Tower and Confronted the Mad Mage Therein." In his own words... I, Duke Zular Mollari, a humble servant of Berlin and true son of Allaria, did (with many blessings from King Emry and the...peoples...of the Great Kingdom) undertake the Quest mandated by the Order of the WhiteHand: to seek out and destroy the Mad Mage Priceless, in the year ----. ect. ect., bla bla bla bla... It was following the Third Cogan War (a war won by the precise, calculating minds of great men such as myself and Emry), and the Overland Trade Wars with Hespan which ensued in it's aftermath, that it was discovered that the Outcast Priceless had taken refuge in the inhospitable deserts of the north. This was the very wretch who was known to have aided the Hespaniards in their high-tech manufacturing of clockwork automations, exchanging valuable information with the Archmage Marchavio and the Outcast Crucibal the Dark Heretic in return for human 'specimens'(most of these Allarian P.O.W.s)! The call went out throughout all of Havnheim for one who would be brave enough to confront the Mad Mage on his own turf, and yours truly - in a characteristic move on my own part - took up the call with much enthusiasm!This was a mission not for an army or force of men, but for a single Hero. And I was that hero. Because I'm the best. Ever. So let's skip all the boring details, shall we? No need to get bogged down in the usual hogwash I'm sure all of you miserable - er - wonderful little people are used to being fed. Most of my contemporaries have too little to say with too many words, if you ask me! Go ahead, quote me on that last remark; someday all of these little quips of mine will be chronicled in volumes of proverbs and books of wisdom...DO IT! DO IT NOW OR I'LL KILL YOU!I CAN DO IT! I SWEAR I CAN! I SWEAR I - MOMMY!? DADDY!? OH, I DIDN'T MEAN TO KILL YOU BOTH IN YOUR SLEEP WITH METHODICAL TACTICS I HAD SPENT YEARS PREPARING! BUT HOW ELSE WAS I SUPPOSED TO CLIMB TO THE RANKS OF BEING A DUKE AT AGE 12...er..aherm...where was I... Anyways...wasn't I recounting my encounter with that stupid Mage? Well, what do you want to know about it!? So I didn't drive him out of his stupid little dumb little stupid dumb little dumb stupid tower!? Who cares!? At least I made it out alive! If you ever see a purple gorilla with a toaster head, I suggest you run!End If you liked what you just read, then check out these other recent publications with articles by the same author!For the latest fashions and hottest new styles from Caemlyn to Castlebar, GreyHawk to Obsallom, and the trendiest new ways to eliminate one's enemies using fail proof poisons and cold blooded tactics, refer to Zular's article in this month's issue of the Delicate Damsel For an essay on the fragile work of art that is Mollari; both the man and his palace, refer to this month's issue of 'Castle and Gardens' For a touching and inspirational story of Zular's doomed existance in a sea of sorrow and an endless, hopeless cycle of addiction with the highly toxic and often fatal designer drug seeping over the border with Fey Wood and Allaria, pure powdered Oberon's Ambrosa, refer to this weeks issue of the "Verboten Weekly Press"What a weird article, thinks Fred.
|
Ib
11/26/2002 1:15:45 AM
Extending Enabled
25001141 episodes viewed since 9/30/2002 1:22:06 PM.