~HEROES WANTED~
The Never Ending Quest - Episode 22619
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Knights wanted: Seeking an entry- level quest - must have at least one triumph over a dragon or supernatural forces. Knowledge of Microsoft Word a plus. Great medical benefits. If interested, please contact Lord Thatcher's office at 555-2365 to schedule an interview. Se habla Espanol. Got wealth and noble blood? Got a sword? Got a shield? Got a backbone? If YOU answered YES to all of these questions then you MAY be QUALIFIED to become a Certified Knight in just under 2 years! How? For just 10,000 gold pieces down you can become an entry level Knight-in-Training in the most prestigious Training Academy in all of Allaria, The Royal Academy of Warfare and Tactics!Who? YOU! When? Right now, dammit! Just get off your lazy butt and come to the city of Caemlyn! Where? I JUST TOLD YOU! Seeking an advanced-level Quest-must have extensive background of experience on the battle field. Must have at least 5 years experience in mageslaying. Must be proficient in wielding both mace and broadsword. Must have personal weapons and armor, these will not be provided. Must be able to type a minimum of 30 wpm. Please contact Duke Barnabas's office at 555-7823 to schedule an interview. Have resume ready. Gnomes need not apply. Seeking pest exterminators- the call has went out throughout the Great Kingdom, qualified Knights and/or Mages - IF THE MAGICK'S WHITE - are needed to destroy a village of annoying Elves near Chante. Do whatever the hell you want to get rid of them, we just want them gone! They're SO annoying! All they do is giggle and sing and dance about like a bunch of little green maniacs! Come slay some Elves and make a quick buck or two! Experience a plus, but NOT NECASSARY. Apply in person at Croix Keep, North Umbria. Missing: Over-ripe Melon of Righteousness, thought to be within the tower of the Liche Lord. Looking for: A few good men to find it. Experience a plus, but not necassary. Call 555-6512 Missing: Arcane Golf Ball of Power, thought be within the tower of Crucius the Fell. Looking for: Professional mageslayers, at least 20 years experience in resisting spells required. Call 555-6702 Rock- trolls! Rock-trolls! Rock-trolls! They're gaining in numbers and their molesting herders near the Shreken! Need: Trollslayers! Anyone willing to fight a Troll! HELLLP!! Call 555-1543 Missing: Princess Astra of Aqualaria, daughter of HighQueen Heliastra. Last seen entering the Shreken after an abrupt and unannounced disappearance during a hunting trip. She's tall, has red hair, is full-breasted, and has a tendancy to become shackled to cave walls (usually naked or wearing tattered rags). *HUGE REWARD* if found and returned safely to the city of Themyscira! 1,000,000 gold peices! **ATTENTION**Lord Fred is dead. Sir Toby's deader than Fred. Sir Josh is dead, and so is his computer. Sir Paulito has died, too bad! They were all losers! But where they failed, YOU can succeed! King Emry wants YOU to take on the Dragon of the Southern Caves! This insidious lizard has been burning our fields and kidnapping our maidens for long enough! Think of the riches! Think of the glory! Think of the fame! And all you've got to do is brave the nightmarish/hellish/maddening moony maze of the Southern Caves and find the Dragon! Not unlike finding a needle in a nightmarish/hellish/maddening hay stack! So what if no man has ever made it out alive!? Captial 'L' - THEY WERE ALL LOSERS! We need someone with GRIT to take on the Wyrm...is that someone you? Call 1-800-TNEQ
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11/26/2002 12:24:19 PM
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