He Ate My Monkey!

"My Monkey. . ."

"My Monkey. . ."

Tears began to well up in Fred's eyes.

It was a fine autumn afternoon, a year or two ago, we lay under our tree, as we often did at the time, playing a fine game of "Poke the Monkey with an unusually sharp stick". I recall it was Monkey's favourite game, he would often try to rip off my face in delight while we played. The object of the game was to see how long it took to give Monkey a flesh wound. That was the part of the game Monkey liked the least, I had to keep him on his chain for it. Of course, I always kept him on his chain, he couldn't stand to be without it! He would always break for the door in sorrow the moment it was off.

Anyways, back to the story of how Sir Pikachu ate my Monkey.

We were under our tree, playing our game, when who should drop from our tree but Sir Pikachu! I never liked him. I always thought it odd how an unintelligible yellow electrical rodent who could only speak it's name could receive it's knighthood, but we won't bother with that right now.

I paid Sir Pikachu no heed. He knew I didn't like him, he knew I didn't appreciate his creepy, icy, stare he was giving me. He knew I didn't appreciate the sickeningly cute "Pika Pi's?" he was giving me. He knew I didn't want him near me at all.

Perhaps, now that I think of it, was what drove him to do what he did.

Suddenly, I felt waves of electricity flowing through my body. I couldn't help but to scream. I relized it was not I Pikachu was attacking, but Monkey, and I was feeling the shock through Monkey's chain. I let go and ran.

From a safe distance, I observed what was becoming of my Monkey. It was dreadful. Monkey survived the electrocution, and was half-conciously getting up. Sir Pikachu waddled towards Monkey, and then brutually tore open Monkey's back! He drank his blood! He devoured his kidneys! He munched on his liver! He gorged on his muscles! He gobbled his brain! He gnawed on his bones! Oh my poor Monkey. . .

The King did not beleive me, he thought I was being a fool. I didn't argue with him, I knew what I was saying sounded perposterous. But I knew it to be true. My friends, Sir Toby, Sir Josh, Sir Paulito, and Sir <your name here> all laughed at me when I told them my tale, so I suspect you shall too. I'll understand if you do. But since that tragic day, I have hated Sir Pikachu. But now I have avenged you, poor Monkey.

*sniff*

Poor, poor Monkey. . .

1. "And that," Fred concludes. "is the tale of how Sir Pikachu ate my Monkey."
2. "But don't laugh yet," Fred says,"for my tale has not yet ended"

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