The Little White Men in the Little White Coats

What's this nonsense about pickles? Fred knows bloody well that there's no such thing as a pickle allergy.

"You're a bleedin' loon, man!" Fred screams at Billy. Immediately Fred removes his boot (it's actually a boot-phone) and dials up the nearest mental hospital.

Billy is nonplussed. "Dude--what are you doing? I'm telling you. Magic pickles. They kill that dragon every time."

It doesn't take long before Fred hears somebody approaching. He turns around to find two midgets wearing white lab coats eyeing him suspiciously. One of them has thick eyeglasses. "See there, Billy. Just go with these...nice...men, and everything'll be alright. Then you can have all the pickles y'want." One of the midgets looks past Fred for a moment, and then he looks back at him.

To Fred's surprise (and dismay) the midgets don't grab Billy, they grab Fred. "What--what're you doing?" he shouts. "I'm Fred! That one over there's Billy Corgan! He's the one with the pickle problem."

The midget with the eyeglasses tugs on Fred's arm. "I'm sorry, sir. You're going to have to come with us. There's no such thing as 'Smashing Pumpkins.' Billy Corgan is a figment of your imagination."

Fred can't believe his ears! These stupid midgets must be crazy, too.

1. Fred breaks the midget's eyeglasses.
2. Fred shouts to the Pumpkins for help.
3. Fred gnaws off his arms to escape the clutches of the evil midget doctors.
4. Fred fights to escape. After all, how hard can it be to kick some midget butt?
5. Fred goes willingly--he's not above the idea that he's just a wee bit insane. Stranger things have happened.

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