The Gift Consultants

"Isn't this great?" said other-Betty (as the Betty who had been dead had begun to think of her). "They import stuff here from all over the multiverse. It's one of the Doctor's favorite stores."

"It certainly seems like his kind of place," Betty replied. "But I still have no idea what to get." A sudden realization struck her. "Oh! I don't have any money! Not that I'd probably have the local currency for... wherever we are, anyway."

"Don't worry about it," said Ragan. "We'll take care of it. Plenty in the TARDIS kitty."

"Isn't that a bit like... taking the Doctor's own money to buy him a wedding present?" said Betty dubiously.

"Nah. He doesn't care about money. The goal here is to buy him and Inquirer something they will care about. Let's look around."

As they wandered deeper into the store, Betty caught sight of Vila, carefully examining a tiny but elaborate piece of crystal artwork. "Pretty," he said admiringly, holding it up to the light.

Morgana, standing conspicuoulsy next to him, cleared her throat meaningfully. He gave her a hurt look. "I wasn't going to take it! I was just admiring the workmanship!" He set it down again.

Avon, standing on the other side of Morgana, snarled. "If you 'admired' a little less, Vila, we wouldn't have these damned elves watching over us as if we were errant children!" He sounded quite genuinely upset, Betty thought.

As they moved past them and out of earshot, Ragan let out a sigh. "Inquirer's right. Avon really is still being a jerk. I'd really thought he'd have mellowed a bit by now."

"Oh, he has," said a rich voice at Betty's elbow, making her jump. She turned around and found herself almost face-to-face with Blake. He smiled somewhat ruefully. "He's just in rather a bad mood at the moment."

"What is his problem?" asked other-Betty, rather more boldly than Betty herself would have dared.

"He just doesn't like weddings," said Blake. "I'm afraid you -- and the Doctor and Inquirer -- never have seen him at his best. You really ought to come and visit us on Earth -- our Earth -- sometime, you know. We've made tremendous improvements there since the fall of the Federation."

There were about six or seven things that Betty desperately wanted to ask him about at this point, but by the time she'd got sorted out which one to ask first (namely, just how they'd actually managed to overthrow the Federation), Ragan had already started talking. "We'll be sure and do that sometime! Maybe after the wedding. Speaking of which... I don't suppose you have any suggestions for a wedding present? We're stumped."

Blake looked thoughtful. "Well, Avon and I put together some interesting pieces of equipment from home that the Doctor had expressed an interest in... sort of a technological gift basket, I suppose." He chuckled. "But I don't imagine that would work for you. Let's see... How about a bottle of wine? I know the Doctor is fond of a good claret, and I'd expect Inquirer would appreciate it, too."

"That's a wonderful idea!" said other-Betty.

"But I don't know anything about wine at all!" wailed Betty. "I mean, the only way I know to pick wine is by what's in the prettiest bottle!"

"Needless to say, that's true for all of us," said Ragan. "I don't suppose you know anything about picking out wine, Blake?"

"Not much. And certainly nothing about the Terra Prime vintages."

"Well, who can we ask?" said other-Betty. "Vila?"

Blake laughed "Well, Vila certainly has an intimate friendship with wine, but I'm afraid he's not very... discriminating. Avon knows something about wine, but..."

"...But he's in a bad mood," Ragan finished. "No thanks."

"Wait!" said other-Betty. "There's Alicia! Or one of them, anyway. I bet she'd know!"

Betty turned to see... A humanoid fox-woman. She was rather pleased to note that by this point, she was hardly even blinking at this sort of thing.

At the sound of her name, the fox-woman had turned around, and she bestowed on them all a gracious smile.

"Alicia," said other-Betty. "I was wondering if we could ask you for a favor."

"Certainly,"said Alicia. She then nodded politely to Betty, and said, "Hello. I am known as SheFox Alicia, of the house of John."

"Betty," said Betty, feeling stupid immediately. Of course, this, er, woman would know she was Betty, if she already knew her analogs.

"We've got to think of something else to call you," said other-Betty. "I mean, 'hey you' really just isn't going to work. Maybe you could use your initials or something."

"B.R.?" said Betty (or, B.R., if that's what she were going to call herself now). "Sure, why not."

"What did you need help with?" asked Alicia.

"Well, we were looking for a present for the Doc and Inquirer," said Ragan, "and Blake suggested a bottle of wine. Which sounded like a great idea, but none of us knows anything about wine. We thought maybe we could all pitch in together and get them something really good and expensive..."

"Ah," said Alicia, wrinkling her whiskers into a small smile. "I know just the thing! Come with me..."

1. And less than an hour later, the three of them were walking out with a fantastically expensive bottle of wine and three identical smiles on their faces.

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