TimeWarp: What's in a Name?

The Never Ending Quest - Episode 15089

"What have you DONE!??!" screamed Astra. The others looked at her and it was Astra, wearing the desert robes, who came to her. She tried to hold her but the pink-dressed Astra violently shook her off: "DON'T touch me! Whatever you are, you are evil! A doppleganger or worse!!!"

"No," said the other Astra. "Far from it. My name is Princess Royal Astra Thesamar daughter of Heliastra, Queen of Aqualaria."

"SHUT UP!" yelled Astra. "You lying wench, that is who I am!"

"YES!" yelled Astra right back at her. "You ARE Astra, and so am I! I come from the future."

Astra looked at the woman before her, she took in her words. "You are mad," she said with a little more calm, a little more control.

"No, she's not," said the old man wearing a white coat. "This is strange but apparently true, well, not exactly true. You see, Astra is from a future in a parallel band of time while you are the Astra from this band of time, presumably that is. We won't know for sure until I recalculate the entryway lock on my tower." The old man scratched his head and added, "It shouldn't have done anything but brought you to my library. Oh dear, those mechanists in Verboten promised me that it was nothing more than a lock...but I'll be damned if I know where the pink velvet came from!"

Astra looked at the whole sight. "If you are not a doppleganger, then what is on the table?"

"Oh," said the old man. "That, presumably, is the fellow you came here with. His name is—"

"His name is Lord Fredergio D'Honaire of Suffex, Dragon-Slayer," finished Fred. "And that is who I am as well. I remember this, it already happened to me and to Astra. This is all so confusing, but the cause is none other than Zardoz the Wicked!"

"Desert" Astra whispered into Fred's ear, "Dr. Vincent never called him 'the Wicked'!"

"I know," whispered Fred. "But it sounds better."

"Well there you go again," chuckled the old man. "You see, that part of your story makes no sense to me. There has never been any wizard by that name in Allaria or the surrounding Havnheim lands."

"What?" said Fred and Astra in unison.

"I think we should sit in my library and sip some tea over this dilemma," said the old man.

"But what about him?" asked the 'pink' Astra pointing to the Fred who lay on the table.

"Oh, don't worry about him," replied the old man. "He's not going anywhere."


In the library they sat; the old man who finally introduced himself as Dr. Vincent Priceless, the young knight Lord Fred, and both Astras. It was Bobo, the metal-head'd ape who served the tea.

"Now," said the Doctor. "Before we go on any further I really don't want to get all goose-gangled with two princesses sharing the same name..."

~~goose-gangled?~~ thought Fred.

"...and so it seems rippity right that..."

~~rippity?~~ thought both Astras.

"...each one of you should take on a new name or some such."

"Why should I give up my name when it is mine?" asked the Astra wearing pink.

"And why should I?" added the other Astra.

"Well, its not like you have to give up your name, but couldn't one of you be called Astra and the other...what did you say your full name was....Astra Mascara?"

"Its Astra Thesamar!" said the Astras indignantly and simultaneously.

~~oooh, stereo!~~ thought Fred.

"If you'd like," continued the Doctor while Bobo poured more tea. "Maybe you could be Pink Astra and you could be Brown Astra."

"Out of the question!" said both Astras once again.

"Hey," interjected Fred. "How about Astra One and Astra Two?" The two women glared at him and he put his head into his lap. "It was only an idea," he mumbled.

Finally the two women agreed that they each would take half their true name. The Astra who awoke wearing pink velvet kept her name 'Astra' while the desert-robed princess abided by being called only 'Thesamar'.

  1. Now to the Question of Zardoz

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1/22/2001 10:50:18 AM

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