BDP: The Evil Within
The Never Ending Quest - Episode 12615
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Fred’s Journal, Day 3 So far, so good. We’ve yet to run afoul of any monsters or blatant continuity errors. Yesterday was a fruitful one. By some great stroke of luck, we happened upon a vast underground lake with pristine, crystal clear water. And wouldn’t you know it, there just happened to be a Guatemalan burrito-monger plying his trade near the shores of said lake! Business had been slow of late, he explained to us, and he was more than happy to sell us a bulk order of bean burritos at a very fair price. When asked if he’d heard any blood-curdling screams in the vicinity, the man told us that it was merely the mating call of the local cave-monkeys and nothing to be alarmed over. We wished him the best of luck and continued on our merry way. Other than that, no other notable things happened during the span of the ‘day’. We’ve decided to set up camp for the night, and hopefully we’ll face another day rested and ready for action.
Day 3 Events have taken a turn for the worse. Those burritos have turned out to be very gassy. The night was full of our foul emissions, and it seems the more silent they are the more violent they are. Velus’s are by far the foulest. We begged him to stop, but he claimed he couldn’t. We tried putting a cork in his bumhole, but to no avail. God have mercy on us all. Day 4 Dear, sweet Jesus! Save us! Save us from ourselves!Day 5 Christ, if you will not deliver us from the evil that is emitted from the inner most depths of our accursed bodies than take us out of our misery! Please! What have we done to deserve such a fate!? Day 6 Our prays to the Lord have gone unanswered, and there is still no end to this agony. So we’ve decided to turn to Satan.Well, that Lord of Lies, the Prince of the Principalities of the Air, has come through. He was a very polite chap, I might add, and demanded nothing for the cherry- flavored Malox he bestowed upon us. Still, we gave our undying fealty to him in a gesture of good will. Lucifer is now my Lord. So it looks like we have to make up for several days of wallowing in our own despair. It matters not, as the internal bloating has completely subsided and our farts are no more. We will still continue on our present course, due South, until we either find the dragon or come to a dead end or die at the hands of some monster or become impaled on stalagmites or some similar fate.
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Lost Soldier
5/23/2004 4:58:23 PM
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