Fred's Efforts to Pay for his Sins

Fred went to the Office of Damned Entry to apply for a recommendation to get into hell. The snake demon at the desk eyed Fred contemptuously and says, "You'll have to apply at the Immigration Office of Hell to get a new name notarized to qualify for a recommendation. All applicable names start with the suffix "Condemned." Next..."

Fred shuddered under the snake's gaze as he left the counter and went to the Immigration Office across the chasm. He got in line to be notarized as "Condemned Lord Fred." It took about five hours for him to get to the front of the line. When he did, he was told by a surly beast-demon to get in line at the Office of Hel-land Security (Fred balked at how "Hel" had only one "l") to get a permit to be able to be notarized.

In line at the Office of Hel-land Security, Fred waited and waited, getting more impatient by the minute as the seconds ticked by with no noticeable movement in the line. He just wanted to be tormented for his crimes. Why all the bureaucracy getting in his way?

What does Fred do now?

1. Fred waits patiently in line, gets his permit and heads back to the Immigration Office of Hell
2. Fred decides to illegally immigrate into hell
3. Fred kills himself to speed up the process. Surely now he'll be let in
4. Fred gets distracted by the TV sports channel
5. The Office of Hel-land Security gets robbed and Fred is now a hostage

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