We Need to be a Little More Constructive Here!!

John Quatermaine

"I won't let this go any further," the ghost proudly proclaims, a snarl on her lips before blinking. Looking first at Saber Feels and then herself, she opens her mouth as if to ask what is going on.

. . . .

Oh for fuckin’ God’s sake!

Seeing my wife stepping up to take over my assigned task of “watching out for monsters found in dark and dim Camelot forests” while Rei and the other “senior” Champions are calming down the distraught young girl before making a sales pitch straight out of a fairy tale. . .

. . .

Who happens to be either an analog of my Mentor, Fred Takahashi, that got transformed into a little girl and brainwashed. Or happens to just be the re-scrambled atoms of what used to be a Fred Takahashi analog, only under “new management” from what a necromancer named Belboz did to him/her: tearing out the old male “Fred” soul and putting in a young girl soul “Hannah”.

I . . .don’t know what to exactly feel about that. Not like she/he/whatever had asked for that, but it’s just so . . . .damn squick. I mean gender identity and all that shit is important and . . .!

Get a grip JOHN and stop getting weirded out here, damnit!!

John, would you . . .talk to them and then get back to me to report on what you see over there, Lilith telepathically sends my way, interrupting my stupid wool gathering. We’re still kind of . . . busy here.

Right, the business of what involves getting to the “heart” of a means of a getting everyone/everything OUT before the wheels fall off . . .

I don’t like this though. I mean it is almost like conning a little child, but . . .

“Time out,” I mutter softly, shaking my head and putting the AK 47 from my weapons stash (armed with ramjet magical rounds supplied by Rei herself) back over my shoulder by it’s strap.

Continuing and seeing nobody heard me, I decide . . .to just get into the middle of this mess--and it is a mess-- and then continuing on by making a T gesture with my hands violently like some kind of American Football ref and then shouting over the sudden shouted, confused questions from those witnessing this latest . . . mess. “TIME OUT!!

”We need to be a little more constructive here than just shouting questions at each other,” I finish, shaking my head a bit and waving my hands slightly in what I hope can be seen as a friendly gesture.

”Honestly, if you think about it you’ll figure it out easily,” I finish “But~ hey, mind if I at least try to answer some of it from what I got from the Mission Briefing before I and the gang jumped into this mess feet first, okay?”

“You can explain this?” Lancelot asks, gesturing at the ghostly looking Saber.

“Yes I can,” I just say, being entirely serious and not at ALL trying to be snarky for him doubting me for being a junior member of team. “She fissioned off a ‘clone’ like what you Heroic Spirits do back from the Throne of Heroes but unlike you other Spirits here she happens to still have a live and empty body somewhere near here in the forest.”

”That . . .might be . . .that IS why I came forth like this,” the ghostly Saber whispers to herself, eyes staring off into the middle distance. “I . . . .thought that I came into being because of the crimes of what Saber Alter had done and what dark things she WOULD do once the Holy Grail manifested with Sakura. I’m here . . .to take up the crown again after defeating Modred!”

”Or you could just take Lancelot and say one or more of the Hercules to sway Mordred and her little band of rebels to surrender?” I cough, giving her a slightly disappointed look. “ I mean if Ilya is willing and at least one Herculese is interested, then we’re talking a MASSIVE argument for that, eh?”

”That . . .could work,” one of the Saber sisters I’m not looking at mutters slowly. “I could see that working. Really working.”

”That would actually be a pleasure and honor if Little Master would allow it?” one the Berzerker brothers says almost eagerly, looking down at the nearest Illya to him. “I mean after permission is given and . . .I find out where my weapon got off to here?”

All of the Herculeses had a similar lack of weapons, and looked rather put off about that fact. That and (as I found out later), their rather lacking of clothing.

As for the first issue: that was due to him having fought melee with Fred Takahashi there. While a sword/axe/whatever weapon they’d been given to use when summoned as Berserkers worked while fighting other Servants, a stone weapon made from the guy’s tomb does NOT a suitable weapon make when fighting Fred. Why? Because of out physics and whatever this axion crap is when it came into play. Magic or not, stone weapons shatter when striking power armor it seems.

Especially the kind of power armor augmented by the magicks that Rei and her sisters put into it.

Probably the only reason why my mentor, Fred, managed to walk away from those fights with only a massive headache and a bit of bruising.

. . .

But honestly, given how much of a close quarter combat MONSTER without his stone sword it hardly made him any LESS dangerous, thank YOU!!

God, that had been a SCARY ass fight to watch. Even Fred said as much to us all afterwards….

Okay, as for the other? Well . . . embarrassing or not that was how he showed up when summoned and I’m pretty darn sure that until we get to someplace where we can get somebody able to tailor a custom set or we make it ourselves? Well, it’s not like we’re going to be able to buy it “off the rack” due to his McLarge Huge size!! That and nobody besides us Champions and these Woken are able to do it.

Or it better be that way… There are Servants out there still we DO NOT WANT to meet!!

Anyway, Illya (whichever one you’d like to mention) was all for that. Vicious as some of them are in their little hearts, they’d like to not have to bother traveling through a war zone if a little (or a LOT) of intimidation can bring on a cease-fire and smoother travels, even if it is by air.

Never heard of anything like anti-aircraft fire in the Legends of King Arthur, but given how screwy this anime world can be what I’ve seen and experience…. Yeah. For what it is worth, it’s a plan for now.

We have all the things we need to get this Quest done back at our little base in the city and quite a few former Clock Tower Enforcers turned small fairy women waiting back there.

We made a promise to them and you do NOT go back on a promise to one of the Fair Folk, you know. Ends . . .badly even when they are of the Seelie Court from what I remember from my few times I had experienced such in roleplaying in AD&D.

Jeeze, that DM was real JERK!!

Ah, and now that the adults have calmed down that blonde girl and put her out (for safety sake if nothing else), we’re almost ready to get out and track down Saber’s mortal body somewhere in the wood and . . .

What? Why did we put a little girl out like a light with magic? Well, we’re talking about a little girl who’s body is no threat against us adults and the Heroic Spirits. That cannot be said about any peasants or knights, however. She’s not from this anime reality or any other anime reality, you see. She’s from a world like my Earth, and THAT means as tough as a Heroic Spirit. A weak spirit, but still more than any poor shmuck who’d come across her and scare her out of her wits because of how “weird” they’d look. Nothing but the strongest magicks can harm a Heroic Spirit so . . .nothing but the strongest magicks would be able to harm her.

Make her panic? Make her lash out? And we’d have a very messily maimed (or dead) person. And little children aren’t like what you see in the movies. Little children cry. Scream. Lash out. Run. Panic.

We’re just avoiding the whole thing and after we demonstrated how freaking delicate anime matter (what with them having been converted into “normal” people with this axiom wash hogwash)…

Yeah, I see I forgot to mention that. The mortals of the anime people? They are now “normal” human beings (and WOW some of them got some fine looks), so are . . .kind of strong and dangerous. As in they easilty crushed a few rocks and logs we handed them as examples as why we knocked out the kid. They don’t know their own strength and the kid doesn’t know her own strength.

Got it? Good.

God only knows what the Heroic Spirits will be like when they Convert over. Not even Rei and the other magic users of the group know, and that’s THEIR specialty. If they don’t know, I sure as heck don’t! I mean, outside of novels and role-playing games? You’re kind of kidding me, right? And so . . . oh you’ve got to be KIDDING ME!!?? A bunch of VERY agitated fairies of various kinds surrounds a very familiar-looking blonde-haired female king with an interesting cowlick….

1. Oh, and we have another little blonde Hannah, grass skirt and all, with a golden haired fairy on her shoulder. Don't forget that one.

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