The War of Ape and Machine

Level -317.23-alpha-9 of the Tower has been consumed by the war between the Ape-Men and the Machine-Men. The Zebroids warned me to avoid this level, but I ventured in, and was nearly ripped to shreds by the apish guards, who took me for a Replicant. This war has been going on for as long as anyone can remember, and I fear the Tower shall never see its end...

Scott has wandered into a nightmare. Bombs are bursting everywhere. Corpses of apes and scattered metal parts litter the ground. A baboon is bludgeoning a blocky wind-up robot to death with its own right arm.

"Jesus," whispers Scott. "I'd better get back to the Staircase Room. Even loneliness is better than this."

Just then, a strange--and strangely familiar--creature wanders into the center of the battlefield. It is a purple gorilla with a toaster for a head.

1. The two sides stop fighting and bow down and worship the purple toaster-headed gorilla as their new god.
2. The two sides stop fighting and converge to rip the purple toaster-headed gorilla to pieces.

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