Let a Man Come in and Do the Popcorn

The Never Ending Quest - Episode 102016

The rest of the night in the OR was uneventful. The usual happened: more wounded soldiers were wheeled in, Hawkeye and B.J. made their usual jokes, Frank Burns whined and bitched. And Josh Burbank made damn sure to do his best at meatball surgery.

Major Burns was in a particularly sour mood this night, and he didn't care who knew it. It was quite difficult to work in close quarters with Margaret, who had unceremoniously dumped him just a short time before. All Margaret could do was stay completely professional. The closest she came to losing her cool was when Frank erupted at one of the newest nurses who had made a simple error.

But Margaret didn't have to say anything to silence Frank. Josh Burbank stepped up and did the honor:

"Hey, Frank! What's your problem? Is it your time of the month, or are you mad that your wild secret romance is all over?"

"SNOT!" was all a very irritated Frank Burns could say.

But Josh knew that he had won that exchange. He could hear Hawk and B.J. barely able to suppress their laughter as they asked for surgical tools. Josh glanced over at Colonel Potter, and while his surgical mask hid his mouth, he could tell that Potter was smiling.

"Okay, everyone," Potter finally said softly. "Let's not forget what we're here for."


After the last of the patients were treated, with those in worse condition shipped off quickly to larger medical facilities in Seoul or Tokyo, Josh joined the rest of the doctors in the recovery room in checking on some of the patients who were in good enough shape to ride it out at the 4077th. One of Josh's patients is a soldier from Wisconsin named Robert Alan Scott, or Bobby. Bobby had gotten lucky compared to some of his company mates as his wounds (from artillery fire and some shrapnel) had all been below his hips to his ankles. Both of Bobby's legs had numerous wounds stitched closed.

"So, Private Scott, how you doin'?" Josh asks after Bobby opens his eyes.

Bobby is still feeling the effects of the morphine, so he's not completely back down to Earth. As Josh's face swims back into as clear as focus as Bobby can manage, something prompts him to reply "You look familiar, doc."
"I'm surprised you would say that, Scott. After all, I was the one who saved your legs."
"You're from the STAIRCASE ROOM!" Bobby blurts out.

Bobby Scott's sudden outburst draws attention from all doctors present: Hawkeye, B.J., and Margaret. They all noticed the nearly horrified look on Josh Burbank's face.

But Josh realizes this isn't the time to overreact. It had to be a coincidence that this guy knows about the staircase room, right? "Heh heh, that's interesting, Private Scott. But no, I'm actually from Chicago. Where are you from again?"


Another long day and night over Korea comes to an end. Josh had set up quarters in one of the storage facilities at the edge of the camp with supplies he managed to scrounge up. Josh's cot has three mattresses stacked on top of each other, and he's also helped himself to a few more blankets and pillows than what have been allotted to everyone else at the 4077th. It was still comfortable as hell, and Josh deserved a decent night, or day's worth of sleep.

Sleep did not come easily for Josh. He was still weirded out at Bobby's accusation in the recovery room. And then there was the matter that at some point, Josh is going to be exposed as a fraud. Tonight was different: dozens of men were wounded, and the powers-that-be needed Josh's help in the OR. Any investigation had to wait until the madness died down.

Elsewhere, in the Swamp, Hawkeye and B.J. try to unwind while drinking their moonshine out of martini glasses. The hooch manufactured in their still was never meant to be enjoyed as a great tasting alcoholic beverage. You drank it to numb the pain.

"So, that new surgeon Burbank?" Hawkeye finally speaks. He was in no mood for joking or pranks for once.
"I saw him, Hawk," B.J. said. "I think I'm going to like him. Any surgeon who's better than Frank ought to be welcomed here."
"Nobody knows who, or where he came from, Beej. I was talking to Klinger earlier. Radar had spent half the night on the phone with headquarters trying to find out anything about Burbank. For once, Radar came up empty."
"No information at all? That's impossible."
"Hearsay has it that Colonel Potter is going to start an investigation the first thing tomorrow morning. Frank was badgering him about it. He's already convinced that Josh Burbank is a Korean spy."
"Good old Frank. We'd have a chance at winning this war if he hadn't been sent here!"
"I hate to say it, Beej, but I almost agree with Frank. There's something, well, odd about this Burbank guy. He shows up out of nowhere, he's a perfectly capable surgeon, and there's no record of him existing."
"Maybe we should have a talk with the young man?"
"Yeah, what do we have to lose? Besides, if we can't get anything out of Josh, we can always talk Colonel Potter into getting Dr. Freedman to come over to talk to him."

Hawkeye and B.J. stand up, martini glasses in hand, and they exit the Swamp...

  1. They find Josh bunking in a storage facility, much to their amusement.
  2. Unknown to the guys, Frank Burns follows them at a distance, having heard their chat. Burns plans to eavesdrop on any conversation they're going to have.

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Ben McClellan

6/29/2013 11:03:38 PM

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