From peter@wolfe.netMon Sep 25 16:56:42 1995 Date: Mon, 25 Sep 1995 08:56:36 -0700 From: Peter Sarrett To: frc@nvg.unit.no Subject: Round 44: Summary so far Round 44: Superheroes Judge: Peter Wizard: Peter Dug 19:22:41 Sept. 25 0.0 Ronald 17:55:53 Sept. 26 2.0 Morendil 23:49:19 Sept. 28 1.0 Greg INELIGIBLE -3.0 Vanyel INELIGIBLE -1.5 Doug INELIGIBLE 0 Others INELIGIBLE Rule 44:1 Dug VALID -2.0 points --- >>> RULE 44:1 <<< Attention! Attention! May I have your attention, please!? Thank you. As Chair of the ... Excuse me, someone's still talking. You can talk all you want on your time, but this is _my_ time. However, if you'd like to make this _your_ time, I'd be happy to extend _my_ time into recess ... Alright, then. As Chair pro temp, I, World's Greatest Teacher, hereby officially open this meeting of the Foyer of Justice. First, I'd like to thank my sidekick, Teacher's Pet, for that pre-meeting tribute to our founders, Jan and Jana. Let's all show our appreciation for The Pet, by giving her a round of applause. We have gathered tonight to draw up a list of rules for our super-group. Before we begin, however, I need to remind you of a few groundrules. First of all, the only ones allowed to submit rules are those super-beings which share our fate: somewhat normal people with abnormal powers which aren't particularly helpful. My ability to sharpen pencils in my nose, for instance. Second of all, for the purposes of record-keeping, we ask that each super-being identify him or herself when submitting a rule. That's it for the groundrules, I now open the floor for submissions ... Uh, uh! Remember how we do this! When the hand goes up, the mouth goes shut. Now, who has a rule? Anyone? Anyone? ... >>> END <<< Rule 44:2 Vanyel VALID -1.5 points >>>>> As Computer Language Guy, I, Don Blaheta, require that Ummm... Yes? No more technical stuff, please? I mean, like math or computer languages. I'm not good at that stuff. Oh. Well, that wasn't going to be my restriction, but that's such a good idea, I'll make that my restriction. >>>>> Rule 44:3 Doug VALID 0 points --- I am Captain "Wrong-Way" Murphy, gifted with the ability to find a wrong way to do anything. Since I am also directionally challenged, my rule is: future rules shall not use words that indicate any particular direction. (Oh, by the way, in real life I'm Doug Chatham. Oops, there goes another secret identity!) Rule 44:4 Morendil VALID 0.5 point --- Hah ! The fools ! What do they hope to achieve ? A meeting of super-beings indeed ! Super-wimps, you mean ! Little do they know that, hidden in the rafters, the Practical Joker is listening to their every word ! Let's alert them to the fact of their imminent demise, shall we ? Hmm, yes, a Super Stink Bomb should do. I only hope this one won't turn out to smell of lavender like the last one did... <> Now, how's _that_ for a rule, eh eh eh eh... [Evil cackle] --- Rule 44:5 Greg INVALID -1.0 points --- Look! There in the Sky! It's a Bird! It's a Plane! Oh, It's a Bird. Yes, folks, it is I, Mr. Bird-man. Now maybe I don't fly as high as that OTHER superhero, but I've got something he doesn't have: A secret decoder ring! You, too, can have this a ring JUST LIKE MINE for only Five Boxtops, Four Bottle-bottoms, Three Wrappers, Two coupons, and One Thin Dime. What!??! A decoder ring sounds to you like technical stuff like math or computer science NOT AT ALL. This is CRYPTOGRAPHY! Listen, just this once, even though you haven't sent in your boxtops, I'll give you a hint how the code works: A=q, B=g, C=d, E=3, F=r, etc. Perhaps this is a qwerty code, but that's just our secret. h92k 3f346 47o3 j7w5 yqf3 q5 o3qw5 9h3 w3h53hd3 248553h 8h 5y8w d9e3l --- Rule 44:6 Greg INVALID -2.0 points --- MR FIREY-DART (D-VA): Mr. Chairman, may I have the floor? CHAIRMAN: The chair recognizes the esteemed superhero from Virginia for two minutes. MR FIREY-DART: Thank you. Mr. Chairman, It seems that the rules as they stand permit one outside of this chamber, one Mr. Wizard-Judge, to evaluate each of us as we speak. Now, I'm not here to speak against this Mr. Wizard-Judge, but I would like to point out that in the Hall of Justice, it should be our prerogative to keep our own members in line. Now, as you know, I have the utterly remarkable ability to produce firey-darts out of thin air. Perhaps this is not as remarkable as The Flame of Fantastic-Four fame, who could turn himself into a veritable inferno, but impressive nonetheless. I insist, therefore, that in the future we should all throw firey-darts at the previous speaker, (in a figurative manner) so that we can maintain our self-judging prerogative in perpetuity. For example, that previous speaker, the esteemed Mr. Birdman. He certainly should not have turned this hallowed chamber into a platform for crass commercial activity. MR BIRDMAN (R-MD): Will the Speaker yield? MR FIREY-DART: No, I will not yield. I believe a firm reprimand is in order for my esteemed colleague Mr. Birdman. I yield the remainder of my time to the chair. --- Rule 44:7 Morendil VALID 1 point --- ...take a break, with a message from our sponsor; we'll be baZZZttzzTTCrrr "Hello, good people of F.R. City ! This is the Practical Joker speaking. Dreadfully sorry to interrupt your well-earned time of relaxation, but this is an announcement that cannot wait ! The bad news first : unless you accede to my quite reasonable demands, every single citizen in F.R. City will have his mailbox inundated with "MAKE $$$ FAST" messages !!! Now, the good news : YOU can prevent this dreadful catastrophe... All that is required of you is to get each of those self-styled 'SuperHeroes' which have become a grave nuisance of late, to make a public confession of their inadequateness. I insist : ALL future public communications of those SuperWimps must be totally self-humiliating. Otherwise... eh eh eh... Other of my kind have been known to show some leniency... but not I. So warned, I'll let you resume your afternoon's entertainement." --- Rule 44:8 Dug VALID 2 points --- Faster than a rolling 'O' Stronger than silent 'e' Able to leap a lower-case 'n' in a single bound ... It's not Superman, it's not Letterman, it's ... Leno! Thank you, Mr. Announcer. Yes, it is I, Leno, parody of a parody, weak cousin and poor rip-off of my genre originator: Letterman. I have nothing of substance to add to our group's discussion at present, but I'd like to announce my attempt to try in the future. I will read all future rules, and before they are judged I will search for English words (such as 'can') which would still be English words with an appended 'e'. When I find such a word, I will rip the 'e' from my Junior Varsity sweater (it's the only letter I have there), and slap it on the end, turning a 'can' into a 'cane'! I will do this for all such words in all future rules. If this should change the validity of the rule, so be it! If it should make the rule non-sensical, then the rule will be invalid! I'd like to say it's the least I could do to spice up this round, but unfortunately, it's the most. --- Rule 44:9 Ronald VALID 2 points --- New people often find me a mightless midget and I agree! Restrictions in size would have bothered Hercules too. Hidden powers I have plenty. In all honesty, only three: Rule waves, bend staves, knife knaves. --- Rule 44:10 Morendil INVALID 0.5 points --- First, let me reveal myself. Passing sentence is my game, 'Jude Feer' is my name. My notions of spelling equal that other Judge's ! What does the future hold for criminals ? Only fear, because "Feer rules" - or shall, I hope... I'm only fifteen, all the same I'll do my best. I, Feer, shall soon be known as the lamest... If mom's plans for me are to last ! She now wants me to be an accountant, of all things ! This fad will probably endure no longer than the previous ones, though. My other power is to know if a passport's still valid, by the way. Nothing glamorous, but with us it's not an exception, rather the rule, eh ? Been nice talking to ya. --- Rule 44:11 Morendil VALID -1.0 points --- -[Rule 44:11]- Oh, ORDER, please ! As Chair, I ask of future speakers, whatever their business - rules concerning our group; mere chatter without rhyme nor reason, more likely, that you present it in order and make this meeting no more tense than it is already. I may have been making a botch of this meeting, and perhaps I'm a failure compared with esteemed colleagues, but that's my _last word_ thereon. We'll resume _after_ a long _break_. ====================================================================== Peter Sarrett peter@wolfe.net | "You don't stop playing games when Seattle, WA The Game Report | you get old, you get old when you http://www.wolfe.net/~peter/tgr | stop playing games." - O.W. Holmes ====================================================================== From peter@wolfe.netFri Sep 29 13:55:25 1995 Date: Thu, 28 Sep 1995 17:56:47 -0700 From: Peter Sarrett To: frc@nvg.unit.no Subject: Round 44 ends. According to my clock, round 44 is now at an end, with Morendil as the winner and Ronald as the Wizard. Congratulations to you both! - Peter