--------------------------------------------------------------------------- Round 25 has ended, and Jeremy is now Judge coWizard, and Stein is coWizard. Here is the final status report. --------------------------------------------- | Fantasy Rules Council Round 25 Status | | Rules Judged: 8 (5 Valid / 3 Invalid) | --------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------- Player Eligible until Style | --------------------------------------------- | Stein Ineligible +2 | Alyxx Ineligible +1 | Oerjan Ineligible +0.5 | Jeremy Fri Oct 07 02:06:00 +2 | W.L. Murphy Ineligible +1.5 | Others Ineligible 0 | (times are EDT) | --------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------- Proposal 25:A (Jeremy) FAILED | >From nvg.unit.no!frc-owner Fri Sep 30 16:38:40 | Voting Ended: Mon Oct 03 16:38:39 | --------------------------------------------------- | that Rule 25:5 be declared INVALID | | FOR: Alyxx | AGAINST: Stein, Jeremy | --------------------------------------------------- I don't know about the rest of you, but I can take a break until Tuesday. But if the consensus is that we want to start another Round right away, I will let the Judge coWizard choose a theme and act as Judge-by-Proxy until then. Cheers! (Was-W.J.) Waggie --------------------------------------------------- JOURNAL OF SPECULATIVE XENOONTOLOGY Special Volume in Honour of Herr Dr. Prof. Dr. Prof. Dr. Dr. Herr Dr. I. M. A. Stuffy Curmudgeon on the Occasion of his 200th Birthday Edited and with an Introduction by Wizard Judge Waggie Introduction. There is no need to recount here the many pioneering accomplishments of Prof. Curmudgeon, who (after that tragic chainsaw accident) single-handedly broke free from the tyrrany of the scientific method and boldly laid the foundations of speculative xenoontology-- the fanciful imagination of the nature and structure of strange foreign creatures and things. For this Commemorative Volume of the Journal which Prof. Curmudgeon founded and edited for so many years, we have asked the leading xenoontologists of our day to report on their investigations into "Creation Myths among the Peoples of the Brznazg'haq: Structural Comparison of Historical and Mystical Elements". This is a subject close to Prof. Curmudgeon's heart, and one to which he has returned frequently in moments of idleness, melancholy, and pharmaceutically induced stupefaction. I am certain that all of our contributors join me in conveying our respect, admiration, and indeed gratitude to Prof. Curmudgeon for all he has done to provide yet another tiny niche in which we academics can scrape together a meagre subsistence. Many happy returns, Prof. Curmudgeon, and continued success in your next hundred years! W.J.W. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fantasy Rule 25:1 (Stein) VALID (style +1) >From nvg.unit.no!frc-owner Wed Sep 28 07:24:13 1994 MYTH PORTFOLIOS AND THE I-SPACE Dr. Caliban Ahtoluso, Dr. Iliona Martha Jesgessin In his excellent article on the xenoontological aspect of mythical and religious views of history, (1), prof. Curmudgeon established the fact that the myth serves the purpose of projecting each single entity of the historical event onto a single point in an interpretative space, the I-space, of finitely many dimensions, where each dimension runs from a minimal negative value, to a maximal positive value; numerically this range will be normalized to the range [-1, +1]. Thus any entity, where the term 'entity' will refer to any object in the myth be it an active agent like creatures or forces of nature, or passive like the base environment or an item, will have a fixed number of attributes which constitutes a conceptual base, with which it can be compared to any other entity in the myth, and every such pair can be given an agreement product, AP, along each dimension. The AP is simply the product of each entity's numerical coordinate along this dimension, and naturally negative numbers will indicate opposition or conflict, and positive values will indicate agreement or cooperation. It has been shown by Ahtoluso et al. (2) that the number and nature of the dimensions needed to accurately and uniqely describe any entity in the myth, the I-space range, will remain constant within the entire myth portfolio of a culture, but that it will necessarily differ significantly from one culture to another, thus once established, the I-space range of a myth portfolio can be used to uniqely classify cultural identity. The Brznazg'haqi myths are exceptional in that with their three-dimensional I-space, they have the lowest dimensioned I-space known to xenoontology. The three dimensions of their myth portfolio is possessiveness, ranging from total generousity (-1) to total greed (+1); constructiveness ranging from utterly destructive (-1) to utterly constructive (+1); and general impressiveness ranging from totally silly (-1) to fabulously impressive (+1). (1) Curmudgeon, S. "Interpretative spaces of comprehension applied to common cultural thought patterns" Journal of Speculative Xenoontology, vol. 5, pp. 24-38 (2) Ahtoluso, C., Jesgessin, I. M., Gottfiyehrd, I. "A cultural classification scheme based on estimated I-spacial distance measures." Proceedings of the 23rd International Conference on Xenoontology, Helsinki 1992, pp 1347-1354 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fantasy Rule 25:2 (Alyxx) VALID (style +1) >From nadc.nadc.navy.mil!alyxx Wed Sep 28 07:38:35 1994 An Introduction to Deity:The creator Gods of the Brznazg'haq, compared to The Val$ar and the Ancient Greeks It is a common theme among many peoples to associate creation with Water. The Val$ar, though more familiar (in the sense of living atop) with their deities than many, still revere the body of Aqua Velva as sacred. In Greece, before the Olympians, before, even, the Titans, they held Oomphala (the Goddess associated with the Mediterrean) sacred. She was the belly of life...literally! (Her name means 'naval' or belly- button). The Brznazg'haq also know their roots lie in the water. In their case, of course, it is slightly more literal, as you might expect from a society of mobile flora. The creation myth, as it is commonly explained to outsiders, involved the union of Pznart, the mighty Oaken Warrior with Blydd, the delicate poppie flower. This union, of course, was accomplished while Pznart floated helplessly in Thakar Pu/, the river of sap. Many of the details are only comprehensible with a full understanding of Brznazg'haq anatomy. As this topic is explored more fully by our scholars, it is hoped, nay, demanded, that each draw at least one solid comparison to our own vast body of multicultural mythology. Further, in any new exploration one runs into new terms, or foreign words which will enrich our own language. Please honour us with at least one new word or phrase and the translation thereof! ---------------------------------------------------------------- Fantasy Rule 25:3 (Oerjan) VALID (style +0.5) >From nvg.unit.no!frc-owner Wed Sep 28 18:58:54 1994 CYCLIC NUMERICAL METAUNDERSTANDING IN THE BAXTIMANI TRIBES AS COMPARED TO THE MINOR AND MAJOR FLAT AND CYCLIC INFINITIES OF PREINDUSTRIAL IBERIAN AND HINDI SOCIETIES an exposition by Dr. Rid. St. Exc. Jorge Cosa da Constancia de San Cristobal After reviewing the very interesting investigations by Prof. Alca-Seltzer [1] of the effect of a society's counting system on their cultural habits, noting e.g. the lack of shoes in ancient Mayan cultures with their 20 number system or the preponderance of artificially added extremities among Velvans with their 1018 number system, especially among merchants, I started my own recent investigations into the nature of the effects of numbers on the more refined aspects of religious and philosophical thinking among the Baxtimani tribes of the planet Rembrandt-6, noting especially the connections with my own Portuguese heritage as well as the understanding revealed in the ancient Vedic Philosophical/Mythical scripts (see e.g. [2]) Mahabharatha and Ankaravedalta, generally considered to have the most refined numerical understanding of all preindustrial Writings, surpassing even Archimedes's The Sand Reckoner [3] as having the greatest. It was a great surprise to me, accustomed as I was to the earthly philosophies of the potential infinity of numbers, if not the actual infinity which arose fully only as a device of mathematics in the late 19th century with the inventions of set theory by Georg Cantor [5], or at worst the innumeracy of the Kakutani tribes of the planet Leprosy-0, who denied the existance of any number greater than 2, when the Baxtimani, a tribe fully capable of counting at least to the millions, denied with religious vigor the existance of any form of infinity, whether potential or actual, to the benefit of a philosophy in which there was a unique greatest number, Al-Araya Behemotha or 406910564, considered to be exactly equal to the largest amount there could be of anything, after which decline was inevitable until the amount again reached 0, or Al-Araya Nada, which by a curious coincidence is exactly the normal expression for 0 in the dialect of my home village, bringing us to comparision with the Iberian number understanding, up until early 20th century, and still in certain parts, characterized by an insistence upon the vastness of God's creation herein known as Minor Flat Infinity, containing within it an understanding that there were thousands of people, animals, and everything else in the world but simultaneously an inability to count that far, efficiently equalizing these amounts to infinity despite their relatively minor state compared to Vedic Tradition which we will denote as Major Cyclic Infinity, in which the number Shankha=10,304,902,400,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,040,000,000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000,001 denoted just the length of one Universe Cycle in years, after which the god Shiva would dance the world into pieces, still an insignificant number compared to the Infinite age of creation, which was considered to consist of an unending series of creation/ destruction cycles, similarly to the Baxtimani view which does not however allow for an infinite series of cycles and thus the process must end, in fact never get that far, a view which I initially thought had to be logically inconsistent but no longer do, as it has been found that the remarkable properties of the number Al-Araya Behemotha are of such a mathematical character as to cure all such problems when applied metaphysically correctly. My studies and consultations with Dr. Merkwurdigliebe have made me aware that this is the first number with this property, as explained rigorously in [6], thus proving a great tribute to the philosophy of the Baxtimani people. References: [1] Alca-Seltzer, Jonathan: Numerical Guides to Fashion. Incompr. Books Ltd, 1989. [2] Aragones, Sergio: Los majores scriptos Vedantes translados into la linga Portoal. Picturas e Lettores, 1968. [3] Archimedes: The Sand Reckoner, translated by Prof. Ling. Theocratos Antimonos. Eubiblioi, 1964. [4] da Gama, Vasco: La historia de meos traballos. Conquistadores e Dicoberas, 1416. [5] Cantor, Georg: Contributions to the Founding of the Theory of Transfinite Numbers, Translated by P.E.B. Jourdain. New York: Dover, 1915. [6] Merkwurdigliebe, Heinrich: Recursive infinities of finite rank. American Mathematical Monthly, Vol. 98, 4, 1994. ==== ------------------------------------------------------------------- Fantasy Rule 25:4 (Jeremy) VALID (style +2) >From nvg.unit.no!frc-owner Fri Sep 30 02:06:01 1994 *J. Spec. Xenoont. Home Page* Journal of Speculative Xenoontology ISSN 0023-8662 Autumn, 1994 Volume 27 Number 3 International Society of Probabilistic Xenoskepsis [The Journal of Xenoontology (J. Spec. Xenoont.) is published in electronic round-table format quarterly by the International Society of Probabilistic Xenoskepsis (ISPX), 23 Ferry Road, Rear Apt, Weehawken, NJ, USA. Copyright 1994 by the ISPX. This publication is free to members in good standing. {hint, hint, Dr. Jesgessin, pay your dues!} The Journal publishes articles of the following types: Editorials, Research Articles, Communications, Expositions, Reviews, News Reports, Letters, Book Reviews, Biographical Sketches, Xeno-literary excerpts and Xeno-artistic exhibits. All items published in this forum are signed and reflect the individual opinions of the authors and the official points of view of the ISPX.] SPECIAL EDITORIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: We, the board of editors of the Journal, regret to inform the membership of the recent passing of our dear and (with a few notable exceptions) well-respected Editor-in-Chief, Dr. Yu Betcha. Dr. Betcha had served the Society admirably for far longer than any of us here would care to recount, and we all owe him a debt of gratitude. Apparently, we also owe his estate a considerable amount of cash, but, thankfully, that is a matter for the board of directors to attend to... This brings us to the point at hand, the election of a new Editor- in-Chief. Frankly, none of us wanted the job; c'mon, who would, the pay sucks, none of YOU give us any respect and . . . *ahem* Well, we mulled it over over some really choice Brznazg'haqian warthog steak- flavored soy-product patties and were about to draw straws when a courier arrived at our oh-so-posh offices here in Weehawken, bearing an audio tape. The transcript of its contents are provided below: *Cough* It's me . . . Curmudgeon. *wheeze* Yeah, I bet you thought you'd heard the last of me after that coma last month. Well you can *hack* forget THAT you ungrateful bunch of toads! *Cough, hack, spit* Hey, is this [deleted] thing on? *tap* *tap* *bang* Well, before I have ANOTHER coronary here, I'll cut to the chase. Last night I had a vision (OK, coulda been a flashback, sue me). I was on the Brznazg'haq home world, up to my zaqwankers in mud, I might add. Oh, did I confuse your pitiful little brains? I was a Heebian Dwarf Shrub in the vision, you dolts, only they have zaqwankers (genitalia) above the sub-basal taproot area. Duh! Did you ever notice that those Heebian Shrubs act alot like Hobbits, and, strangely enough, I believe they have a mythos similar to Tolkien's European myth-muddle including an object of vast importance. Now why can't I remember what it was? The stories queries, "what is in my pocket?" {unintelligible mumble} What? Oh, that. Well, time for my medication, boys, you'll have to do without my solar glow for now. So the point of the vision thing was this, all these Shrubs were in the mud chanting about the new Editor-in-Chief, extolling his virtues and all that crap. Weird thing is, they were talking about that Dr. Smellybutt (sic) character over at MIT, and I HATE him. *chuckle* But, you know the rules: what I say goes, HA! So, all but one of us breathed a sigh of relief and duly nominated, seconded and elected Dr. Jeremy Selengut as our new Editor-in-Chief-for-life. We all then went out for beer, leaving 'ol Smellybutt crying into his soy-product stuff. EDITORIAL: OK, folks, I'm pissed. I didn't want this job, but now that I've got it, some things are going to change around here. I'm going to enforce that "bozo filter" bylaw we've got on anyone who repeatedly posts pharmacophoeriae written before the drugs have fully worn off. This means you, Dr. C. d. C. d. S. Cristobal. I'm sure if you'd waited just a few hours, you might have seen the marginal benefits of parsimonious sentence structure... More importantly, since we are an interactive electronic journal after all, in the spirit of increasing dialectic intercourse I will no longer tolerate the unanswered reasonable queries of our contributors. If anyone should posit a query (a question, puzzle, brain teaser, riddle or some such), and everyone shall, then the next contribution to the journal must provide a correct answer, else be INVALIDated and expunged from the journal's "pages." (Of course, any contribution which contains an unreasonable query, one which cannot be answered in three days, will be subject to the same treatment.) Any author or poster who dares to answer his own query will be similarly treated. To be sure, I will not sully my hands with the business of expunging and invalidating. We have contracted with W. J. Waggie & Sons to provide this service. (I have it under good authority that they are "Wizards" at it, too!) Oh, and just to show you how truly surly I am right now, there are exactly two exceptions to the above query rule. So long as I am Editor-in-Chief (thus, alive and eligible), only I may disclose what they are. J. D. Selengut Editor-in-Chief [Ed. Note: I had originally thought the theme to be "Creation Myths..." but I suppose now that the theme could be construed as the "Journal of Speculative Xenoontology", but you still ought to stay near the topic of this special volume. Jeremy does so (and satisfies 25:2) only marginally, but gets full marks for prose, humour, and deviousness. I'm not too thrilled that he's now Editor-in-Chief and I'm relegated to a mere proof-reader, but what can I do? W.J.W.] ------------------------------------------------------------------ Fanatsy Rule 25:5 (Stein) VALID (style +0.5) ***Up for Vote*** >From nvg.unit.no!frc-owner Fri Sep 30 06:40:51 1994 REAL-WORLD PARALLELLS TO THE MAIN CHARACTERS OF THE BRZNAZG'HAQI CREATION MYTH Dr. X. Plis. Cit. Posh Smellybutt It is interesting to note how even the simplest imaginative frameworks are at times able to construct images that seem to be universal in the sense that they have accurate counterparts all over the time-space continuum. Thus it will come as no great surprise to see that two of the most deplorabale characters in the Brznazg'haqi myth cycle, the ominous monolith of greed and destruction, Argh, and his servant, the blob of utmost silliness Shalliwellin have *exact* counterparts here on earth, yes in *our very midst*. For who cannot, in the wheezing coughs of our highly praised, esteemed, revered, idol of xenoontology, the big, big, big, big doctor professor (and all that) Stuffy Curmudgeon, hear the earthly similarity of Argh's fuming whispers, and who cannot in his endless stories of his dreams see the link to Argh's gargantuan schemes for world destruction. Yes, and is it not the case, that in accepting the perennial yes-man and boot-licker J.D.Selengut as the new Editor-in-Chief, he reflected that despisable act performed by Argh, when allowing the generous Pznart to be violently claimed by the yucky blob Shalliwellin with the most grotesque zaqwankers ever. But fear not, xenoonological minds everywhere, for as sure as Blydd came to the resque with his harqmaq, his living axe, so shall I, dr. Posh Smellybutt, wield a weapon of cunning logic more intricate than Loki's schemes, and more efficient than Alexander's sword to the Gordian knot. Dear Editor-in-chief, for you and you only can answer my question, "What will be you first thought after you in your next editorial resign your position, and hand over the editorial staff to the new Editor-in-Chief, dr. Posh Smellybutt?" - - - And HA HA HA to you too, *Stuffy* C. !!!! [Ed. Note: Dr. Smellybutt compares his actions with Blydd's weilding of the harqmaq, Loki's scheming, and Alexander's slice of the Gordian knot. This satisfies 25:2, and so as a direct rejoinder to 25:4 his manuscript is acceptable for publication in _J. Spec. Xeno._. Note especially the difficulties involved in applying human genders to the Brznazg'haq which arise from 25:2 and 25:5. Although I take great exception to his disrespectful remarks towards our revered and beloved (*slurp*, excuse me) mentor, Prof. I.M.A.S. Curmudgeon, freedom of expression is central to scientific thought. Full points for humour and deviousness compensate for my ire. W.J.W.] ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Fantasy Rule 25:6 (Stein) INVALID (style +0.5) >From nvg.unit.no!frc-owner Mon Oct 3 05:36:17 1994 OPEN LETTER TO DR. POSH SMELLYBUTT I must say that I am gravely disappointed with your feeble attempt at power play, even from a puny intellect like yours I had expected better. I cannot help remembering your own article devoted to the Brznazg'haqi word Klakkabakk, which, in your own words, mean: "The sorrowful act of bringing immense joy to others by demonstrating ones own stupidity". Doctor, I assure you, you have performed the most perfect Klakkabakk ever. I look forward to your future contributions with great pleasure though, for much pleasure have they given me in the past, and will most surely continue to do so. BTW, doctor it is *Neptun* not *Net-pun*, and he was the God of the *Sea*, not *C* (the ancient greek were not very hot on computer programming languages, see?). Anyhow that was a hilarious treatise, ONE OF YOUR BEST, I'd say :-) :-) Well, to answer your question, my first thought will be: "Guess that showed him, allright!!!". Incidentally, my next editorial is due september 2323, after which the office of Editor-in-Chief will be assigned, posthumously no doubt, to you, dr Posh Smellybutt. Finally, you and all our esteemed colleagues in the ISPX may now want to ponder the following...what exactly are the remarkable properties of the number Al-Araya Behemotha? (For all his mathematical rigor, Merkwurdigliebe is somewhat less than clear in his conclusions, and we all know about Dr Cristobal, don't we?) J. D. Selengut (Still, and for some time too ...) Editor-in-Chief [Ed. Note: 25:4 states: "Any author or poster who dares to answer his own query will be similarly treated." meaning the contribution will be "expunged", i.e. invalidated. Points for humour and playing off Oerjan's 25:3, but points off for failing to contribute to Brznazg'haq mythologyology.] ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- For your convenience(s), here are some notes on the restrictions on future FRs which seem to me to be in effect so far this Round. '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' [Excerpt from 25:2] As this topic [Brznazg'haq creation myths] is explored more fully by our scholars, it is hoped, nay, demanded, that each draw at least one solid comparison to our own vast body of multicultural mythology. Further, in any new exploration one runs into new terms, or foreign words which will enrich our own language. Please honour us with at least one new word or phrase and the translation thereof! [This is fairly ineffective, as it does not specify *when* such actions must take place. Presumably, the requirement is simply that each player do so at least once this Round. However, I will consider compliance/noncompliance with this Rule to be Good/Bad Style.] ''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' [Excerpt from 25:4] More importantly, since we are an interactive electronic journal after all, in the spirit of increasing dialectic intercourse I will no longer tolerate the unanswered reasonable queries of our contributors. If anyone should posit a query (a question, puzzle, brain teaser, riddle or some such), and everyone shall, then the next contribution to the journal must provide a correct answer, else be INVALIDated and expunged from the journal's "pages." (Of course, any contribution which contains an unreasonable query, one which cannot be answered in three days, will be subject to the same treatment.) Any author or poster who dares to answer his own query will be similarly treated. Oh, and just to show you how truly surly I am right now, there are exactly two exceptions to the above query rule. So long as I am Editor-in-Chief (thus, alive and eligible), only I may disclose what they are. J.D. Selengut Editor-in-Chief [Again, everyone shall posit a query, but there is no indication of *when*, so it is essentially voluntary.] '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' Fantasy Rule 25:7 (William Lawrence Murphy) INVALID (style +1.5) >From nvg.unit.no!frc-owner Wed Oct 5 01:07:10 1994 A Report on the Origins of the City on Goz'nial and its Gang Wars Dr. Blah. Blah. SoAndSo Phd. DDS. PBS. ETC. High atop and at the base of the Great Mountain of Goz'nial, which means "huge hunk of dirt in a pile" lies the largest gathering of greenhouses in the society of the Brznazg'haq. This city has over 35,000 greenhouses with up to 40 residents in each house. There seems to be no evidence as to its origin, however there is a myth, much like that of our own Romulus and Remus of Rome, that states two young sapling brothers created the city, and is thus one of the many creation myths of the Brznazg'haq. These two saplings, named Snza and Grza, were wandering the countryside looking for a place to take root for the night. Far in the distance they saw a large mountain. They decided it was two far to reach, as it was getting dark, so they took root where they stood, beneath the stars. The next morning the brothers hiked toward the mountain. When they arrived at the base, the brothers saw what a beautiful mountain it was, and how fertile the soil was. The eldest brother, Snza, decided that the top of the mountain would be even better than the bottom and headed up toward the peak. The younger brother, Grza, thought this was ludicrous and stayed down below. Many years passed, in which time others wandered by and found the wonderful soil and sunlight available on the mountain. A few greenhouses were built, some on the top of the mountain and some at its base. Soon, the small community grew into a large city, but not all was going well. The brothers Snza and Grza, since finding the mountain, were at odds. Soon, the people from the top of the mountain began attacking those at the base. Two gangs grew into large factions that now hold the names of the founding brothers. Many battles have been fought on the mountain of Goz'nial. Most of which boast high casualties and a large loss of sap. One of the most effective weapons in the wars between factions is called the Goz Gun. Now, to test the knowledge of our readers: What type of ammunition does the 'Goz' Gun shoot? Dr. ....... SoAndSo ....... [Ed. Note: An intriguing addition to Brznazg'haq mythologyology, but unfortunately we still have some unfinished business concerning J.D. Selengut's thoughts upon giving up his Editorship, so this cannot be published at this time. Note that only Stein is forbidden from answering the question in his own post.] ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fantasy Rule 25:8 (Stein) INVALID (style 0) >From nvg.unit.no!frc-owner Thu Oct 6 03:59:27 1994 Fantasy Rule 25:9 LETTER TO THE EDITOR Dear Editor, I must say that I am quite impressed by your latest contribution (or rather non-contribution), that so appropriately answered dr. Smellybutt's rather impolite question. I think your null answer was doubly correct, as these types of questions do not really deserve an answer, but yet null thoughts are exactly what should be given to the matter at hand. I am reminded of the zen monk Joshi which according to a famous koan was asked whether a dog had Buddha-nature or not. 'Mu', answered Joshi, which effectively 'unasked' the question. And also the Brznazg'haq have a similar word, "Hastr" - that which cannot be said. And yet the null message surpasses both of these in both cleverness and style. Kudos to you Dr. Editor Selengut. Yours, Stein Kulseth P.S. and on an unrelated note: I hear from informed sources that your third cousin and namesake J. D. Selengut @ mit.edu stands favourite to win the 25th FRC round. I just wondered, if so should happen, could you bring him my congratulations? [Ed. Note: A reasonable try, but unfortunately I recieved no notice of a FR 25:8 which contained the lack of an answer by the Editor-in-Chief to Dr. Smellybutt's rude question. Also, there is no comparison of Brznazg'haq mythology with our own, as required by 25:2. No Style Points awarded, because I think Jeremy and Stein both deserve to be Wizards for this Round.]