One Stan--The Man...The Legend

The interview opens in a pleasant suburban living room. Barbara Walters faces the camera.

"For those of you who have been following the gripping tales of Josh Burbank, Scott Chen, Sara and Jasper Hewitt for the last decade, this is a man who needs no introduction. Ranconteur...sometime time and dimensional traveller...self-insertion author...inventor of the beerphone, now ubiquitous in most American homes, and founder and CEO of the Squirrelburger chain of restaurants. Lots42, it's a pleasure to have you here with us today."

The man of the hour nods politely. "It's a pleasure to be here, Barbara."

"I think most of our viewers know you best through the cast of fascinating and colorful characters you've created for the various extendable stories that you've taken part in, but most of us would like to know a lot more about them--like what chain of thought led you to create them? What are they like when they're not taking part in one story or another, generally? Did you base them on people you knew in your daily life, or did you create them out of whole cloth?"

She leans forward. "One character in particular stands out--One Stan. How, exactly did THIS strangely-named character come to be?"

1. Commercial break follows. SquirrelBurger features prominently.
2. Barbara Walters is suddenly attacked by a rabid, foaming-at-the-mouth Ann Coulter
3. Lots42 answers, in his own inimitatable style.
4. Before he can answer, Barbara Walters begins waxing nostalgic about the Precambrian Era.
5. An intense, overwrought slightly manic, Scientology-esque interview with Lots42 follows, on the virtues and psychological benefits of extendable fiction in general, and his characters in particular. One Stan figures prominently.
6. A pirate television station operated by various characters overrides the network feed.
7. Lots42 is secretly replaced by Lots24, his evil counterpart from the Mirror Universe. Does Walters notice the change?

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