A quandry...

"I already have the book, I just can't read it," Bruno told Fred, handing him the tome.

There was just one small problem, though: Fred, like most medievil Lords, was illiterate.

1. Fred admits to his problem, and two begin searching for a literate companion.
2. Fred bluffs, and recites the words "Klatu Barada Niktu."
3. Fred bluffs, and recites the words "Hocus pocus."
4. Fred bluffs, and recites the words "Uma Oprah."

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