lord fred, knifings, yeah that formula, but with a twist

The Never Ending Quest - Episode 48788

All of a sudden, the door to the staircase re-opens and who should appear but... Lord Fred?! "Right!" he yells, brandishing a huge glowing sword etched in blood red glyphs. "its murderin time!"

There are many questions we could ask at this moment, as Scott runs backstage and Josh curls even tighter into the Fetal position. We could ask how Lord Fred got here, why he is savagely chopping up that chair up in the balcony, why is he yelling about fools of a Took, thereby crossing worlds in a truly unacceptable manner?

Yes, these are good questions, but we don't have time to answer them as he is now advancing on Josh who has wet himself yet again. "You there!" yells Fred, his eyes red-rimmed with rage. "I was just about to have sweet lovin' with Astra when I got yanked through a dimensional portal. I found myself as a... cook of fried potato vegetables in a commoner's feed hall. After fighting my way out.." and at this his eyes go dull a moment and he mutters "oh the screaming, the screaming! why wont they stop screaming! hush now!" and then he shakes his head as if to clear it.

"Where was I?" Fred asks, about five feet from Josh, his sword hung slack at his side.

"um..." whimpers Josh, "something about being a fry cook and then quitting." At this Fred snaps his fingers and grins disturbingly.

"Thanks, quite right. Anyway, I try to get back to my world, for some hot Astra loving, but they tell me that there is no exit from this Tower! I end up in a room with some teal couches, and lo and behold a bespectacled man (who I regrettably had to dispatch for speaking to me as one should not to his betters) told me that it was rumored that killing you two should 'eject me from the reality' or some rubbish." Fred then coughs, swings his sword around a bit, and motions Josh to get up. "So, come on now, have some... wait... did you wet yourself?!" And they say that we have no hygiene in Allaria, everywhere I go here people are soiling themselves, wetting themselves, its horrid!

Right then...

  1. Scott hits Lord Fred in the back of the head with a 9-iron. Fred is annoyed.
  2. Scott hits Lord Fred in the back of the head with a giant sledgehammer. Fred goes down!
  3. Scott runs away, screaming and waving his hands.
  4. Josh summons forth his Sacred Katana and does battle with Lord Fred
  5. Josh weeps, tries to run away
  6. Lord Fred lectures Josh on the importance of using chamber pots as opposed to his own clothing. "Its filthy, man, show some pride!" he exclaims.

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Lord Reaibn Daenorth

8/18/2008 1:25:17 PM

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