“I’m okay! Don’t worry!” Fred called out from beneath the boulder.
Remarkably, he was able to roll it aside and then leap to his feet with
a scratch on his polished armor. Alma felt a poignant sense of anguish
pierce her very heart as if she’d been stabbed with a poisoned dagger.
Sorry, Alma. I tried.“I just knew that boulder resistant armor would come in handy,” the dragonslayer rejoiced. “Fair lady,” he said, turning his attention back to the naked woman chained to the chest. “Would you please explain to Alma here that I’m sexually irresistible. We’re having this little debate.”The maiden shrugged. “You’re not half bad.”
He smiled that obnoxious smile of his - you know - the one that made Alma want to strangle him. “Thank you. Do you have a name?”“Yes,” came her simple reply.
“And it would be...”“None of your business. Idiot.”
Fred became a little indignant at her response. “How did you know, er, I mean, how dare you insult me!”Alma smiled. “I think I like this girl.”
Fred turned to Alma, then back to the woman, then back to Alma again, and so on and so forth. “You like her? You like her like her?” He rubbed his hands together with glee. “YES! Hot lesbo scene! Don’t let me hamper you, girls! Go on, have your way with each other! I’ll just watch for now, and join in later!” He put a couple more ticks on his Quester’s Guild form.An awed silence followed, like the calm before a storm.
“Oh! DUH!” Fred wacked himself on the forehead. “You probably need me to set up the scene for you, huh? Okay, let’s roleplay. Miss No-Name here has been a naughty girl in class and Alma here, the math teacher, has decided to keep her after the bell to discipline her...wait! Wait! Before we go any further let me get my massage oil...”Alma was boiling over with rage. There was only so much she could take, after all. “THAT’S IT!” She lunged at Fred and tackled him to the ground, wrapping her hands around his throat.
Fred was delighted. “KINKY! Oh ya, Alma! Squeeze harder! Oh, she’s a rough one!”Eventually, after realizing she was only exciting her nemesis, she gave up.
Fred lay there for a few minutes before finally gathering himself and coming to his feet. “Okay, girls. This has been a lot of fun, but I do have a Quest to complete.” He looked at the chains binding the unnamed maiden and frowned. He really didn’t want to use his favorite sword again, risking another notch. But he couldn’t just leave her there. “Alma, you’ve just been overflowing with ideas today,” he remarked sarcastically. “Any ideas on how we could free this damsel without using my sword?”“Oh, no need to bother,” the chained maiden laughed. “These aren’t locked. You see, I’m an evil witch. That cat there is my familiar. I lured you here so that I could enslave your soul!” Instead of a voluptuous young woman, there was now a withered old hag with pale white skin hanging loosely off her frail bones and with eyes as dark as death standing before them, dressed in grey rags.
“Eek!” Fred shrieked, but not before putting a tick in an another box on his Quester’s form. Running afoul of a witch was worth a couple extra points, especially if you survived (while retaining your original form, of course) “Run away!”Alma hesitated, before finally she decided to:
5/22/2004 8:31:25 PM
The Never Ending Quest Home
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