Oh Dear

The Never Ending Quest - Episode 37316

“Are too,” argued Astra.

“Am not!” came Fred’s well-thought out counter point.

“Are too.”

“Am not!”

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“D-2!” Fred said with a chuckle.

Sure enough, the little robot went, “Beepity-beepity-beep!”

Astra was perplexed. “What on earth is that!?” she said.

“Why, it’s everyone’s favorite little droid!” Fred explained. “He goes beep-beep and whatnot. You know, ‘help me Obi Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope’ and all of that.”

Astra was sure the little...droid, or whatever Fred had called it....hadn’t been there before.

A piano fell from the heavens, squashing Fred.

“I’ll be....darned,” said Astra. “Are too!” She couldn’t help but laugh at her little joke.

Story Cops, dressed in their immaculate red uniforms, intervened.

“What’s all this, then?” queried one Baxter Sneezly. “We’ll have none of this! Get along, then! Show’s over! Nothin’ to see here! Bloody gawkers.”

Astra was confused. “I’m confused,” she said with confusion.

“Now see here,” said one Baxter Sneezly. “This confounded little thread is over, got it? We’re trying to run a professional operation around here! There’s a lot of very worthy Authors trying to do their best! A few bad apples spoil the bunch, and what have you! Ah, Hell...I don’t even know anymore.”

“Well, it’s not my fault!”

“I know, I know,” said one Baxter Sneezly. “It’s just that, this site allows an amazing amount of freedom, and it’s a double-edge sword. JH is a worthy moderator, and he does his best. It’s just...ridiculous. What is this? What is it? WHAT IS IT!? Huh? What is it? I’m freaking out. Calm down, Sneezly. Deep breaths. Ahem! Anyway. All better. And you can’t blame it on Lots42 or Ib. Well, yes you can. Ib, mostly. What?”

Astra was confused. “Huh?”

“I like nipples!” said someone with a name tag that read: Snorbin.

“Get ‘em, boys!” cried out one Baxter Sneezly. The fuzz where on him, billy clubs drawn, like the LA Police on Rodney King or elves on cheesecake or what have you.

“What of the Enterprising Inn?” asked the princess.

“Shut down,” replied one Baxter Sneezly. “Failed to renew their Liquor License. Or at least that’s the pretext we used.”

“Well, what of me?”

“I’m afraid it’s back to the beginning for you.”


Sure enough, the scene faded and Astra found herself shackled to the cave walls, naked as always.

“Bother,” she said with a heavy sigh.

  1. Sure enough, a certain knight appeared.
  2. Only silence. There was only silence.

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Ib (sorry)

12/27/2009 12:29:16 PM

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