Read My Lips, No Fat Damsels

Today, the King's Parliament unanimously passed the Fat Limitation Act, stating that any damsel judged to be too fat (the Royal Minister of Health and Safety would decide the exact standards) would be beheaded.

"This act addresses a serious problem in our Kingdom," commented Mr. Emry in a press conference today. "There is simply too much obesity in Allaria today. In the old days, when everyone had to fight for their lives due to the kingdom being overrun with Orcs, everyone was healthy. However, in this modern epoch, obesity is rampant. We must nip this problem in the bud. Our knights are no longer rescuing our own damsels due to their obesity. All the women they rescue are from Aqualaria or Cogan or Vjoricia! Some of you may feel that this is a drastic measure, but it's better than unleashing the Orcs. Allaria will be a happier, better, slimmer nation for this act."

The act, however, has garnered much criticism. "Being fat should not be a crime," said Dorcas Farkas, president of the Society For Not Killing People At Random. "Some women are not able to help their obesity, and fat men should be dealt with in the same way as fat women. This act is blatantly sexist. And King Emry's recent treatment of political opposition has been intolerablAAAAAGGGGHHH!" Ms. Farkas was terminated in the middle of her comments by a mysterious assassin who has not been identified."

Fred was enraged. The King was an even greater monster than the Dragon! What would he do?

1. Leave the caves and kill the King before this act can be passed.
2. Kill the Dragon first.

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