Men are Pigs

The man in the brook, not listening to Andrea's instructions, pays more attention to her beautifully proportioned torso. It is indeed a work of art, and why should a work of art be covered up? Conventiently rationalizing to himself that he is acting on behalf of the cause of truth and beauty, he rises from the brook and starts to move towards Andrea.

"Some people never learn ...." sighs Andrea, releasing the arrow from its bow. There is a rapid succession of sounds - a bowstring vibrating from its being released, an arrow whistling through the air, and the 'thunk' of the arrowhead lodging in the flank of a suprised adventurer. He loses his balance, his palms falling flat on the ground and breaking his fall. The hair on his body grows coarser and much more abundant, covering practically all of it. (At least I am not going bald, the vain adventurer thinks.) His hands and feet harden into hooves, and his midsection is encased in a sheath of protective fat. The two bony projections growing from his face are probably the most uncomfortable change. He reflexively flees toward the brook - and stares at a perfect specimen of a pig.

Andrea pronounces his doom. "Whoever you were, you are now Chauvan the Boar. You are condemned to wander the Atalantan Orchards until you act with appropriate chivalry. Begone!"

Chauvan flees into the forest. At first, Chauvan laments his fate. However, once he accustoms himself to his new form, his opinions gradually change. The Atalantan Orchards have everything a pig could want. There is a bountiful supply of apples, truffles, acorns, and other food. There is a clear and salubrious brook for water. There is plenty of good muck and filth to roll in. Most importantly, there are no expectations. There is no pressure from any court to perform heroic acts and kill dragons. Indeed, Chauvan is living the good life.

Chauvan lives this idyllic life for two years, until one day he sees

1. an old man running across the field, dropping some sort of golden objects.
2. Cletus the pig farmer.
3. a man with a sword, and a very large falcon.

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