Episode 5: Our Man Bosley

Officer Baxter Sneezly was about to get off his shift. His partner was just as anxious to get out. Officers Shield and Quantas had been on shift for only twenty-two minutes, however, and they still wanted the specifics on the nights happenings. After getting over the minor scuffles with the vagrants, a few lazrunners, and the 16.2 domestic disturbances, they talked about Bosley Hammer.

"That nut did what?" said Officer Shield.

"That's right, and then he plain disappeared," answered Lujan. "I wish he had stayed in mugre New Mexico, he's just a pain."

"But he's here, boys," sighed Sneezly. "And it's up to you two to keep your ever-loving eyes out for him. We put an Alert on his head so the snaglights and city visors should let us know where he is very soon."

"Unless he pulls that invisible man crap again," said Lujan.

"Now, now," said Officer Shield. "Don't you be jinxing me and my partner. Whatever kind of anti-heat tracking devices he may or may not have is beyond our control—"

"Merde," sighed Quantas. "You sound every day more and more like a diplomat, man. You really going up for that Inspector's job?"

"Hey," said Officer Shield. "Somebody's gotta do the dirty work!"

"So what's the dirt, man?"

The sound of electronics and animatronics whirred in the small room. "Two episodes, one at approximately 3:50 p.m. and the other at 2:30 a.m. Bosley is currently in the vagrancy section of Sacramento, East. We iced him, no thermals. He saw the agents but with the drugs he'll have too many thoughts of long-necked aliens to actually identify our gals."

"Aliens," sighed the first man. "This is bullhockey and you know it. 'Starmen' he says, but there is no proof of anything up in them stars except for us."

"You know that and I know that, but Bosley Hammer doesn't... nor do the other twelve sorry sonsaguns."

"Thirteen people, that's only in the U.S. of N.A."

"Yup. And we know they're not talking about the lunar colonies or the martian protectorates." The man sighed as he hit a few switches, tablets and sensors. "We know about outer space and about quantum space, and you are right that no tangible proof exists for extraterrestrial lifeforms regardless of that tourist trap in New Mexico and the goofballs who have it in for Nevada."

"So we watch and wait, keeping the Thirteen out of trouble from the authorities. This is turning out to be a damnable piece of babysitting."

"Just think of it as your own personal experiment. Besides, the gals in xeno are still working on the pseudospace theory."

"Pseudospace! What are they calling it now...microspace? The USNA, European Union, Macrochina, they all sending their probes into that brave new frontier, and they haven't a clue as to what's in there."

"But they know that it sure has some odd properties, and if half of what they say is true, it will allow for cosmic space travel without having to hit the speed of light."

"Think they're related... odd space and odd people?"

"Who knows? It might just be one big coincidence, but it's not for us to discover, let the gals do their job and let us do ours. Besides, our man Hammer has an Alert on his head, though he is in a section of Sacramento that has not been updated due to its lack of, uh, voting power, I doubt Bosley will stay there for long. He has no clue he's got some guardian angels on his shoulder!"

"Ha! You know his file just as I do... sure he does, but he thinks we're long-necked alien devils! No respect, man, no respect. Babysitting away!"

1. Not knowing any of this, and simply grateful to be back with his parcels and packages, boxes and letters, Fred is happily ignorant of all that is around him...
2. Not knowing any of this, and simply grateful that the miniservor which he guarded in a concealed pocket of his trousers was still there, Bosley is trying to piece together the pieces of last night...

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