Toss a Monkey Off A Cliff - Live
The Never Ending Quest - Episode 17809
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They practice every Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday afternoon in the garage
of the drummer’s house. Or, more correctly, the drummer’s mom’s house.
Fred, being in a coma, was just thought to be the silent type. They put
him on the keyboard. Fred awakens with a start. “WHERE AM I!?” he cries out in confusion. “Whoa, dude,” says Tad, the self- proclaimed ‘lead singer’ and ‘creative genius’ and ‘conveyer of sorrow’ of the band. He writes all the songs, and most of them are about monkeys being tossed off a cliff or his girlfriend Ashley (being tossed off a cliff - they had just broken up). His hair is a tangled blonde mess. He wears some torn up jeans and a Soulless Screamers of the Midnight Orgasm shirt he stole from a booth outside one of their concerts. “Totally.”The drummer, an acne-stricken teenager with crooked teeth and smelly armpits, keels over and dies. Briefly. Then, just as suddenly, he comes back. “Totally,” he utters in characteristic monotone. “That’s like, the first time you’ve ever said a word,” says the bass-guitarist. He is a hulking mass of gelatinous fat. His overflowing man-boobs jiggle uncontrollably with every move he makes. “Totally.” And he takes a hit off the joint being passed around the cold, cluttered garage.Fred blinks in stark confusion. “Oh shit,” he says softly. “I killed Sir Toby.” He looks down at the keyboard and hits the ‘demo’ button. Everyone starts banging their heads and throwing up Satanic salutes. “Rock on, dude!” Tad goads him on. The drummer dies again. Then comes back. Then starts banging the drums with all the life-energy left in him. The bass-guitarist starts up a funky baseline. Tad cranks up the amp and starts plugging away at his guitar, the heavy rifts of it send the dusty garage windows vibrating.Tad bursts into ‘melody’, singing: Toss a monkey off a cliff! Toss Ashley too cause she’s a bitch!Ashley was the fire! And that fueled my desire! To Make out with her and stick my tongue down her throat! She even let me feel her boobs! But then she broke up with me cause she’s a bitch! Man I hate that stupid bitch! I’m gonna throw her off a cliff. And I’m gonna toss a monkey off a cliff too! Wow, that sucked.
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Lost Soldier
2/6/2005 9:14:52 AM
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