Into the tunnel's depths...
The Never Ending Quest - Episode 17177
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Fred walks slowly down the passageway, trying to adapt to the fading
light, with Velus the Tiny Dog close at his heels. The tunnel tends to
proceed for a long time with only a few curves and irregularities, then
suddenly curve and twist rapidly, only to straighten itself out again and
proceed in a normal fashion for another long stretch. You get the
impression that you're getting gradually deeper as you proceed. Reaching
out to touch the wall, you find that the stone is very solid, with no
rough edges. For some strange reason, that makes you vaguely
uncomfortable. Velus the Tiny Dog now walks so closely to you that he
brushes up against your ankle every second or so, and frequently causes
you to lose your balance. Once you nearly fall, but manage to lean on the
wall to steady yourself. You once again proceed, now having to look very
carefully to see anything; down this far into the tunnel, the light is
rather dim.
As you proceed, you gradually become aware that the light is growing slightly brighter. This tunnel is actually leading somewhere! You increase your pace, and Velus the Annoying Canine does so as well, dashing between your legs toward the light and almost causing you to fall... again. You hurry to catch up with him. The tunnel is once again twisting and curving rapidly, and as you run through it, the light continues to brighten. As you rush around a particularly sharp curve, you start to hear a low, rhythmic breathing noise. You finish rounding the curve, only to trip over Velus the Teenage Stumbling Block, and this time you really do fall to the ground. The breathing noise cuts off with a snort... right in front of you. Looking up, you see what made Velus suddenly stop in the middle of the tunnel. The being you see can be accurately described as a "Monstericus Horribileus", which is gobbledegook for AAAAAAAHHHH!!!! The being is reptilian in nature, seemingly a gargantuan cross between a worm and a snake. Looking back, you see Velus the Yellow-Bellied Mongrel shaking in fright, his tail between his legs and his hair on end. You quickly jump back, grabbing for your sword. The monster opens its mouth, large enough to swallow Velus in one bite or you in two, and starts to speak. "Intruders, it looks like, or perhaps warry wanders," it says, looking at you critically. "I don't see many visitors down here; what might your business be?" the monster asks. Fred bravely responds, "I, Sir Fred, have come to slay the dragon that resides within this cavern, and to free my countrymen from his horrible reign forever! Stand thou aside, that I may pass! ....And if you wouldn't mind telling me, what exactly IS a warry wander anyway?" The being responds in an annoyed tone, "How should I know? It wasn't MY word; the author of page 17174 wrote it, see?" He brandishes a torn-out page of a book, and indeed, it reads: "This tunnel has a sleeping monster waiting to attack any intruders or warry wanders". Fred draws and brandishes his razor-edged sword- He taped his shaving razor to the edge this morning- and replies, "Waiting to attack, eh? Have at thee; I stand armed and ready!" The monster seems to consider for a moment, and then unexpectedly takes out an ink-covered sheet of parchment. Perusing it, he reads aloud: "This, the contract between the Dragon of the Caves, hereby referred to as the Party of the First Part, and the Tunnel-Dwelling Monster of Page 17174, hereby referred to as the Party of the Second Part, shall hereby bind both consenting parties to the following agreement. Condition the first: The Party of the Second Part shall be allowed to live and reside within that area of the caves within the ambience of page 17174 and the related pages immediately or subsequently following the aforementioned page. Condition the Second: The Party of the Second Part is hereby given leave to pursue any course of action said party desires, except in any case in which such action would conflict with or cause compromisation of any other condition of the Contract. Condition the Third: The Party of the Second Part shall hereby be prohibited in any way to directly hinder or cause indirect hindrance to any action or plan of the Party of the First Part within the collective premises of the residences of the Parties of the First and Second Parts, save only those situations in which such hindrance is explicitly allowed under any condition of the existing contract. Condition the Fourth: At any time at which any intruder(s) or warry wander(s) see fit to enter the demesnes of the Party of the Second Part seeking passage through the residence thereof, the Party of the Second Part shall be required to consume and subsequently digest a minimum of one (1) intruder or warry wander seeking passage through said area. Breach of any condition of this contract by either party shall immediately and irrevocably subject the party in question to whatever punishment and/or ordeal the other party sees fit to render, up to and including punishments and/or ordeals that implicitly or explicitly involve the loss of life, limb or property of said party." Velus the Confounded Doggie looked completely confused at this exchange; however, Fred the Valiant Knight had a keen understanding of contracts and binding agreements. "So," Fred asked, "for the purpose of clarification: A summary of this contract would be that you are allowed to live here, provided that you attempt no action against the Dragon and that you devour those intruders/warry wanders that enter this area?" The monster nodded, adding, "Actually, the contract only specifies that I need to consume and digest one member of each group of intruders or warry wanders that passes through. I assume it is your intent to pass through?" Fred nods in assent, and says, "Yes, assuming that the Dragon's lair is this way." The monster replies, "Yes, it is. In that case, I have to eat one of you, as I said. So, which of you is it going to be? You really arrived at a very good time, I'm just starting to get hungry." Fred turns toward Velus, who is staring at him with eyes full of fear and nervous tenstion, and without hesitating...
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Machron
2/9/2002 5:23:17 PM
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