Re:Judgement 234:3 VALID -1 Style

From: Aron Wall (aron_at_wall.org)
Date: Thu Mar 31 2005 - 19:31:52 PST


David Nicol wrote:

> You will not be able to stay home, brother.
> You will not be able to plug in, turn on and cop out.
> You will not be able to lose yourself on skag and skip,
> Skip out for beer during commercials,
> Because the tenth valid rule of this round will not be televised.
>
> The tenth valid rule of this round will not be televised.
> The tenth valid rule of this round will not be brought to you by Xerox
> In 4 parts without commercial interruptions.
> The tenth valid rule of this round will not show you pictures of Nixon
> blowing a bugle and leading a charge by John
> Mitchell, General Abrams and Spiro Agnew to eat
> hog maws confiscated from a Harlem sanctuary.
> The tenth valid rule of this round will not be televised.
>
> The tenth valid rule of this round will not be brought to you by the
> Schaefer Award Theatre and will not star Natalie
> Woods and Steve McQueen or Bullwinkle and Julia.
> The tenth valid rule of this round will not give your mouth sex appeal.
> The tenth valid rule of this round will not get rid of the nubs.
> The tenth valid rule of this round will not make you look five pounds
> thinner, because the tenth valid rule of this round will not be
> televised, Brother.
>
> There will be no pictures of you and Willie May
> pushing that shopping cart down the block on the dead run,
> or trying to slide that color television into a stolen ambulance.
> NBC will not be able predict the winner at 8:32
> or report from 29 districts.
> The tenth valid rule of this round will not be televised.
>
> There will be no pictures of pigs shooting down
> brothers in the instant replay.
> There will be no pictures of pigs shooting down
> brothers in the instant replay.
> There will be no pictures of Whitney Young being
> run out of Harlem on a rail with a brand new process.
> There will be no slow motion or still life of Roy
> Wilkens strolling through Watts in a Red, Black and
> Green liberation jumpsuit that he had been saving
> For just the proper occasion.
>
> Green Acres, The Beverly Hillbillies, and Hooterville
> Junction will no longer be so damned relevant, and
> women will not care if Dick finally gets down with
> Jane on Search for Tomorrow because Black people
> will be in the street looking for a brighter day.
> The tenth valid rule of this round will not be televised.
>
> There will be no highlights on the eleven o'clock
> news and no pictures of hairy armed women
> liberationists and Jackie Onassis blowing her nose.
> The theme song will not be written by Jim Webb,
> Francis Scott Key, nor sung by Glen Campbell, Tom
> Jones, Johnny Cash, Englebert Humperdink, or the Rare Earth.
> The tenth valid rule of this round will not be televised.
>
> The tenth valid rule of this round will not be right back after a message
> about a white tornado, white lightning, or white people.
> You will not have to worry about a dove in your
> bedroom, a tiger in your tank, or the giant in your toilet bowl.
> The tenth valid rule of this round will not go better with Coke.
> The tenth valid rule of this round will not fight the germs that may
> cause bad breath.
> The tenth valid rule of this round will put you in the driver's seat.
>
> The tenth valid rule of this round will not be televised, will not be televised,
> will not be televised, will not be televised.
> The tenth valid rule of this round will be no re-run brothers;
> The tenth valid rule of this round will be live.
> --
> David L Nicol
> "You don't know how to maintain a station wagon either!"

Validity: No problems whatsoever.

Style: For a rule with so many restrictions, not many of them are particularly
likely to be violated by the tenth valid rule of the round, since they are
prohibitions on attributes not commonly held by fantasy rules, considering that the
Official Forum of the FRC is not and never has been a television station, (although
I could if I chose make that the forum with my powers as Judge).

Only two restrictions might cause particular difficulties, and given the context I
might interpret one of those two as being sufficiently vauge to be satisfied no
matter what.  This leaves one restriction--I won't give away which one I think it
is--which will be very very difficult to satisfy.  In fact, I would say that in the
absence of extraordinary game action it is impossible to satisfy, except that I
must make room for the ingenious creative reinterpretations of the players.

Now it's all very well and good to make references, and ordinarily this is a good
way to make a rule stylish.  However, while it is on theme, most of it is not
really that relevant as a fantasy rule, and the part that is seems to be a
tenth-rule killer.  Of course, an on-theme exquisite work of art might be
worthwhile even if it did not have much impact on the round, might even recieve the
maximum style award.  But considering that this is a cut and paste job, and all the
creativity came from having the initial idea, I am not so inclinded to forgive this
rule for its faults as a rule.  -1 Style.

Aron Wall


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